Football Jokester Gifts

'Football school pranks'

"I'm not a huge football fan but who doesn't love the Superball, right?!"

'They're being damn noisy in the hospitality box next door,'

"Before we begin. . . terms and conditions. . ."

"You are aware that’s a golf ball?"

'When you said, Dream Team, I thought you meant the Swiss Bikini Team.'

'Focus! Focus! You've just gotta' forget about their home ground advantage.

"Hey! I know that handwriting, St Valentines day last year!!!"

"Seriously, fellas, I can't get up."

Henry's music career was ruined when a frog jumped into a glass of gin, and then jumped into his tuba where it is now permanently lodged.

'You're allowed to pick up the ball before it stops rolling, you know.'

Football Bomb

Cleaning the Horse

'Has anyone seen my contact?'

'I think I see why you're progressing slowly in music.'

'The manager tol us not to let the other side see the ball and that's what I'm doing!'

'As an exercise I placed eleven dustbins on the pitch and made the team dribble around them...The bins won 5-0.'

'Alan, it's the 11th hole, and that Tiger Woods mask isn't intimidating us...'

'You see, I would make a great goalkeeper...'

'You sound like a bunch of cats! The growl has to be deeper and the barks crisper. Okay, let's take it again from the first howl.'

The defence were confident about their offside trap.

"I guess we're kind of the Marsalis Family in reverse

'The bite was great but you forgot to clutch your face and fall to the ground waving an imaginary card...'

'When I'm in the saddle I'm part of the horse.' - 'Yes, but which part?'

After review, the replay confirms a touchdown, and also that big, jiggly bellies look hilarious in slow motion.

Queen Elizabeth 2. Yankees ). I told you they wouldn't think it was funny.

'What's this?' - 'Your sealed orders, not to be opened till 7 furlongs.'

Jurassic Par.

'Vodka!'

"Hands are much more capable of efficiently directing a ball into a net!"

'Trick play! Trick play!'

'Oh, come on. We just need one more body. Please die.'

Baseball says to prankster basketball: You're such a joker.

'The movie doesn't scare me - the commercials do.'

I can't believe you bought an air guitar on eBay! (Published originally on December 18, 2007.)