Football Humourist Gifts

'Focus! Focus! You've just gotta' forget about their home ground advantage.

Open mike night presents Sadie Cohen. Summer's almost over

"Don't worry, Ref, just shock, it's his first save all season."

'These goalscoring celebrations are getting out of hand.'

Punt Cake

Football Chameleon

'I don't understand why you always put me in goal?!'

'Now that's the Group of Death.'

Alternative fielding positions

'He's got abdominal pain, dizziness and soreness in his extremities. I'll know more when I see X-rays...'

Trojan Hurdler.

Sloth 10K.

"Getting the hang of it?"

'I reckon we need a new sweeper.'

'I got a reverse hat trick. I let three goals in.'

'We went generic. The players' salaries are affordable.'

'Wait! Let's see if he gets up on his own.'

'Why do they call him Neckline Ned.' - 'He's always plunging down the middle but never showing anything.'

The Hockey World

'Sean Connery was the best James Bond!'

"Before we begin. . . terms and conditions. . ."

Small country advertisng at the Olympics

Various men worshipping a statue of a football

'Oh dear, what a shame - It's raining again, Pam!'

'It looks suspiciously like Killer Hart is taking a dive!'

'He migrates through every year about this time. Just sits there and watches. We leave him alone and he leaves us alone...'

'It Kicked!' - 'Punt, Drop or Tad?'

Footballer holding team mates bum while preparing for a penalty shoot out

Football Game Tickets. These seats are so far from the field we'll need a passport to get to them!

Footballer kicking his own brain.

'He's definitely heading for a red card.'

Pigs form huddles before taking up starting positions

Gym. Instructor. Why do you want to learn kickboxing? I've always wanted to win a fight hands down!

"With one wrong turn, Sparky's big adventure became a nightmare."

'Robert.....Why do you think they call slanted letters italics.'