Soccer Humorist Gifts

Ref shows footballer green card.

'And remember...no sudden moves in the shoot out.'

'I've been biting people for years and I still haven't got a game.'

'We're the only country where cats refer to this as playing with a ball of string. Everywhere else it's known as football.'

'Robert.....Why do you think they call slanted letters italics.'

'You can't go around writing graffiti on every wall you see!' (Football defensive wall).

This was the last time Fred would agree to referee a game between Bobble Head Teams.

'Now that's what I call a tackle, Brian'

What's that annoying buzzing noise? (Vuvuzelas)

Zombie Luis Suarez

FIFA officials arrested

"'Footcube', eh? It's a game-changer, alright."

"The Boss said that I should d more diving inside the box..."

Open mike night presents Sadie Cohen. Summer's almost over

"Don't worry, Ref, just shock, it's his first save all season."

'These goalscoring celebrations are getting out of hand.'

Punt Cake

Football Chameleon

'I don't understand why you always put me in goal?!'

Alternative fielding positions

Funky Facts: Football.

'Now that's the Group of Death.'

'He's got abdominal pain, dizziness and soreness in his extremities. I'll know more when I see X-rays...'

Trojan Hurdler.

"Getting the hang of it?"

Sloth 10K.

'I got a reverse hat trick. I let three goals in.'

'Sean Connery was the best James Bond!'

'I reckon we need a new sweeper.'

The Hockey World

'Why do they call him Neckline Ned.' - 'He's always plunging down the middle but never showing anything.'

'We went generic. The players' salaries are affordable.'

"Before we begin. . . terms and conditions. . ."

'It looks suspiciously like Killer Hart is taking a dive!'

Various men worshipping a statue of a football