Soccer Humorist Gifts

Ref shows footballer green card.

'And remember...no sudden moves in the shoot out.'

'We're the only country where cats refer to this as playing with a ball of string. Everywhere else it's known as football.'

'Robert.....Why do you think they call slanted letters italics.'

'You can't go around writing graffiti on every wall you see!' (Football defensive wall).

This was the last time Fred would agree to referee a game between Bobble Head Teams.

'Now that's what I call a tackle, Brian'

What's that annoying buzzing noise? (Vuvuzelas)

"The Boss said that I should d more diving inside the box..."

"Don't worry, Ref, just shock, it's his first save all season."

'These goalscoring celebrations are getting out of hand.'

Punt Cake

Football Chameleon

'I don't understand why you always put me in goal?!'

Funky Facts: Football.

Alternative fielding positions

'He's got abdominal pain, dizziness and soreness in his extremities. I'll know more when I see X-rays...'

Trojan Hurdler.

'I reckon we need a new sweeper.'

'Sean Connery was the best James Bond!'

'We went generic. The players' salaries are affordable.'

'I got a reverse hat trick. I let three goals in.'

'Why do they call him Neckline Ned.' - 'He's always plunging down the middle but never showing anything.'

Various men worshipping a statue of a football

Small country advertisng at the Olympics

"Before we begin. . . terms and conditions. . ."

'It looks suspiciously like Killer Hart is taking a dive!'

'He migrates through every year about this time. Just sits there and watches. We leave him alone and he leaves us alone...'

Footballer kicking his own brain.

'It Kicked!' - 'Punt, Drop or Tad?'

"With one wrong turn, Sparky's big adventure became a nightmare."

'He's definitely heading for a red card.'

Footballer holding team mates bum while preparing for a penalty shoot out

Pigs form huddles before taking up starting positions

'You're not supposed to jump over the net.'