Football Comedian Gifts

French football explained - 50p.

Open mike night presents Sadie Cohen. Summer's almost over

"Don't worry, Ref, just shock, it's his first save all season."

'These goalscoring celebrations are getting out of hand.'

Punt Cake

Football Chameleon

'I don't understand why you always put me in goal?!'

'How many times have I told you not to hit the ball with your head?'

'Now that's the Group of Death.'

Alternative fielding positions

'He's got abdominal pain, dizziness and soreness in his extremities. I'll know more when I see X-rays...'

Trojan Hurdler.

Sloth 10K.

"Getting the hang of it?"

'Wait! Let's see if he gets up on his own.'

'I reckon we need a new sweeper.'

'I got a reverse hat trick. I let three goals in.'

'We went generic. The players' salaries are affordable.'

'Clear out your desk, Randy. ...NEXT!'

'Why do they call him Neckline Ned.' - 'He's always plunging down the middle but never showing anything.'

"Pastrami. My favorite, Chad. But I asked for the 'sand wedge.'"

Cricket - The Pride of the Village.

'Sean Connery was the best James Bond!'

The Hockey World

Various men worshipping a statue of a football

Jocko, a man for all sports' seasons.

Small country advertisng at the Olympics

'It looks suspiciously like Killer Hart is taking a dive!'

"Before we begin. . . terms and conditions. . ."

'Captain, we're going to have to ask you to stop spiking the ball.'

Footballer kicking his own brain.

'He's definitely heading for a red card.'

'He migrates through every year about this time. Just sits there and watches. We leave him alone and he leaves us alone...'

Pigs form huddles before taking up starting positions

"With one wrong turn, Sparky's big adventure became a nightmare."