Football Comedy Lover Gifts

David Beckham

Monster Baseball. The team's continuing to have some problems this season. Jekyll is good one day and bad the next. Dracula only shows up for night games. The Mummy is always covered in bandages and on the injured list. And King Kong can't keep his mind on the game --- Whenever he sees a pretty woman, he climbs up into the stands after her! At least Frankenstein has been pitching great again, just like when he was young! Yeah, he has a completely new arm!

"He tested positive for a new fever ... TB12."

"All our extras are ex-soccer players - they're the best at dramatically faking injuries."

Hell Separates Real Madrid and Barcelona fans.

'Why couldn't you throw like that in the game?'

'Best save I've ever seen.'

'He's gonna dunk on me. I just know it.'

'Wait! Let's see if he gets up on his own.'

"Before we begin. . . terms and conditions. . ."

'What makes you think we'll lose today?'

'Captain, we're going to have to ask you to stop spiking the ball.'

Football anagram: Curse straw mat (Answer: Marcus Stewart.)

"Of course I love you more than I ove football -- You were my first-round draft pick!"

The Cricketer and the Golfer

'Five seconds! ...Four ...Three ...Two ...One ...SPRING!!'

The locker room door suddenly swings open, and Randy is busted by a steroid-sniffing dog.

'Focus! Focus! You've just gotta' forget about their home ground advantage.

Football Bomb

Footballer changes shirt with the ref.

Pole jumper about to land on a giant whoopi cushion.

'The centre-forward wins a foul!'

"Vuuuuuuuuuuu!"

T-Rex Racing: A Short-Lived Sport

"Hey! I know that handwriting, St Valentines day last year!!!"

Golf escape.

"Twenty seven shots, first hole. I think we'll call that a dodo."

'Relax, teamwork always leads to a slam dunk.'

'Will you lean on the other post for awhile, please?.'

Foam finger gets stuck up a foam nose.

'Wanna play? We need another body... er... one more player.'

"I feel like I play better on clay."

"..common sense has prevailed, Michael Owen's agent has let the referee off with just a severe warning."

'As an exercise I placed eleven dustbins on the pitch and made the team dribble around them...The bins won 5-0.'

"No thanks. I'm not interested in being the, 'official prophet of the NFL.'"