Football Humor Fan Gifts

Proof positive that repeated blows to the head cause brain damage in football players.

"Better bring me another cookie. The last one fell in the water."

'The ghost walks this passage every night Monday to Friday. He has weekends off.'

"All our extras are ex-soccer players - they're the best at dramatically faking injuries."

The Brothers Grime

10 K Tail-Chase

Funky Facts: Football.

"You see, it's perfectly safe to tease him..."

Hell Separates Real Madrid and Barcelona fans.

'Almost anyone can learn to play golf, and you're the 'almost'.'

The Snooze Bar.

"Uh Oh! Jehovah's"

Beer Parasol.

'Trust me, you're not going to need an alarm clock.'

'Wait! Let's see if he gets up on his own.'

"I fell to the ground from a height of about two metres when I was born: My very first stunt!"

"I'm you from the future! Or the past. I've completely lost track of time."

"Well, you were late and her boyfriend didn't turn up for their wedding, so....."

"For the last time, we never need the route with the fewest turns."

'You're one of my kids? Really? I'm so sorry, I have so many it's hard to remember them all...'

"My favorite part of the story was when Prince Charming kissed Sleeping Beauty and she totally rebooted."

'You're supposed to bring the newspaper to ME!'

'Joe has been partying hard!'

tRUMp, Pirate President

No, I don

"It worked as you said Mum! I yelled 'LICE' as soon as the lion approached and he stopped in his tracks to scratch his mane while I escaped!"

'Bob, wait!!! Nice try, bear.'

"Mom, are you sure I'm not adopted?"

The bird feeder.

"The lettuce I paid with was fresher than the lettuce I bought."

"Before we begin. . . terms and conditions. . ."

'It will be a difficult adjustment, but it doesn't mean you can't still live a full and rewarding life, say, in the library, or even a miniature golf course.'

"Fish finder."

'...and watch out for his 'flipper'!'

Shrewsbury - pronunciation