Football Humor Fan Gifts

"Better bring me another cookie. The last one fell in the water."

'The ghost walks this passage every night Monday to Friday. He has weekends off.'

"All our extras are ex-soccer players - they're the best at dramatically faking injuries."

The Brothers Grime

Funky Facts: Football.

"You see, it's perfectly safe to tease him..."

'Almost anyone can learn to play golf, and you're the 'almost'.'

"Uh Oh! Jehovah's"

Beer Parasol.

"I'm you from the future! Or the past. I've completely lost track of time."

"I fell to the ground from a height of about two metres when I was born: My very first stunt!"

'Wait! Let's see if he gets up on his own.'

"For the last time, we never need the route with the fewest turns."

'You're supposed to bring the newspaper to ME!'

'Trust me, you're not going to need an alarm clock.'

"Well, you were late and her boyfriend didn't turn up for their wedding, so....."

'Joe has been partying hard!'

'You're one of my kids? Really? I'm so sorry, I have so many it's hard to remember them all...'

"My favorite part of the story was when Prince Charming kissed Sleeping Beauty and she totally rebooted."

'Here we go again...'

"Fish finder."

'All she said was something about having rice for dinner and then poof!. . . She's gone!'

"The lettuce I paid with was fresher than the lettuce I bought."

"It worked as you said Mum! I yelled 'LICE' as soon as the lion approached and he stopped in his tracks to scratch his mane while I escaped!"

The bird feeder.

'...and watch out for his 'flipper'!'

'Bob, wait!!! Nice try, bear.'

Presidential surveillance ass!"

"Mom, are you sure I'm not adopted?"

'It will be a difficult adjustment, but it doesn't mean you can't still live a full and rewarding life, say, in the library, or even a miniature golf course.'