Football Satirist Gifts

Alternative names for the Washington Redskins

'Remember young brave to always face evil without fear...To have our tribe on foam and underwear!'

'But I don't mean to bite people...they just get caught in my teeth.'

If at first you don't succeed, deflate the football.

'Tony, you always try to lead.'

"What's he going to do now, break wind?"

10K Run: Smoker's Lane.

Alternative fielding positions

A man is trying to play golf with a football boot attached to a stick.

The Golfing Accident

'Let's throw ball. Running game not working.'

'There! See that? Brad just happens to morph into some kind of hideous amphibian just as he's about to putt? Now tell me she's not cheating!'

United Football Club: In, Out, VAR.

Kick Me! (sign on an anthropomorphized soccer ball)

Beijing Olympics - Treadmill.

"You may inflict pain, but it mustn't be severe or prolonged."

The Leafs win the Cup!

Volcano Sacrifice Competition

The Hockey World

Major Bunker (who has been persuaded to join in a game of hockey for the first time, absent-mindedly preparing to drive). 'Force.'

'Anyone else want to get up and leave before the game is over?'

Goodbye Opiate of the Masses

"Before we begin. . . terms and conditions. . ."

Various men worshipping a statue of a football

Runner 007 is given a martini for refreshment.

'Robert.....Why do you think they call slanted letters italics.'

Footballer holding team mates bum while preparing for a penalty shoot out

"After the big race, the tortoise and the hare are ordered to provide urine samples."

'The manager takes the pitcher out of the game'

'And remember...no sudden moves in the shoot out.'

'Focus! Focus! You've just gotta' forget about their home ground advantage.

Racketeer

Football Bomb

The solitude of bean farming appealed to the ex-ballplayer after his fall from grace.

"Hey! I know that handwriting, St Valentines day last year!!!"