Nautical Jesters Gifts

'We must be nearing land. It's a discount coupon from the island's mall.'

Castaway can't remembers how to write S.O.S.

"Now that we're into spring, we want to warn you that spring fever can be contagious..."

"I'm the Class Clown fish."

Richard the Turd

"Ha! Today we informed the boss about our rights!"

"As a courtesy for the inconvenience, please accept a voucher for three additional hours of your life, redeemable upon your death."

'The blond guy is a forward and the other guy is a wing.'

'I take it his performance review went well.'

'Congratulations, you're now man and wife. You may club the bride. '

An Early Ventriloquist Meets His Future Dummy

'It must be a milkfish.'

'This is your idea of converting your boat to a sailboat, a sheet? And while we're on the topic, is that one of my good sheets?'

"Let's see how brave you are without your gun."

'Can we have a table near a handsome man please?'

"To the most beautiful girl in the world... Happy Valentine's Day!"

Intimacy - Breeding Ground for Mutual Grooming.

Todays Special: Vented Spleen.

"You're not going to eat me are you? Have you never heard of mad worm disease?"

'Yes, they do contain e-numbers - But they're e-numbers that make you feel amorous!'

"Not the God I expected."

"Nice shirt. Is it made of boyfriend material?"

Plato seeking platonic love on Tinder.

Coast to coast walk.

'I'm not complaining, but the last time you took me out to dinner, Colonel Sanders was a brunette!'

'Fancy a banana split?'

"Every Christmas you make a lot of primises you never keep, why don't you become a politian."

"I'm sorry...did I forget to mention? I must be honest with you. I have a condition. My doctor says I may need a full time nurse. But otherwise, I'm in perfect health!""

Police officer to conman: 'You're only allowed to keep striped bass.'

Genial youth talking to his sister's fiancée

'They made him take a vow of silence so he'd have to stop complaining about his oath of poverty.'

Man flashing at a periscope in the middle of the ocean

"Run for your lives! The sea level is rising at the rate of about 1 foot per century!"

"This personal lubricant has an expiration date of 2025 - just saying."

'What with Obama and all his giveaways, I'm surprised you're still in business.'