Wedding Jesters Gifts

Sue was desperate to get married. But not that desperate.

'Congratulations, you're now man and wife. You may club the bride. '

'He does.'

man fishing at a dock sees a billboard: Do You Know It's Anniversary

"OK, now another guy found a feather in his soup! One of you is molting, and I need to know who!"

'Oh, just chuck it in a corner somewhere...'

"Now that we're into spring, we want to warn you that spring fever can be contagious..."

"I see a girl, I see a marriage, I see her not understanding you, I see a beer belly. Do you want me to go on?"

"I must come to the supermarket with you sometime dear, they seem to sell everything!"

"Ha! Today we informed the boss about our rights!"

'Good news Darling You've received loads of bids,,,'

'The blond guy is a forward and the other guy is a wing.'

'I'm sorry, Ralph, but you're going to have to move out - Prissy's allergy to your dandruff is getting worse.'

'...Love, honor, and obey, no strings attached?'

'I take it his performance review went well.'

'I'm married to my job, and now it wants a trial separation!'

"We've only been married three years and she's already giving me gbh of the ear 'oles."

'Can we have a table near a handsome man please?'

Pumping up wig in blender.

'Cheers, it's worth the domestic hassle.'

'In defense of forgetting our anniversary, I forgot we're married.'

Intimacy - Breeding Ground for Mutual Grooming.

'Hi, I'm Linda, and this is my husband Jack. He's been having trouble keeping his penis to himself.'

'Of course I'm not fooling around with my secretary, Helen -- my receptionist would kill me!'

"The autocorrect function is redundant for me. I'm married."

'You know I hate weddings - they remind me that I went through one!'

"To the most beautiful girl in the world... Happy Valentine's Day!"

'We must be nearing land. It's a discount coupon from the island's mall.'

'He goes without saying - usually to the pub' (woman to marriage counselor)

"I was just surprised you put the word 'marriage' next to the question asking if you suffered from a chronic condition."

'I do, but no promises.'

Todays Special: Vented Spleen.

'One is the videographer and the other is my lawyer.'

"I now declare a thumb war."

'I bet your Sunday mornings are different now you're married,eh Sam!'