Wedding Jester Gifts

A piece of advice - never marry a mime. 'Why can't he just say 'I do'?'

"I was supposed to be at a wedding this afternoon. . ."

"Petting zoo" "Heavy petting zoo"

'He does.'

Pappa clown views offspring in maternity window.

man fishing at a dock sees a billboard: Do You Know It's Anniversary

Pretty girls listen patiently. They know you'll soon get tongue-tied and won't be able to talk anymore.

"It's great to see Biff; Socksie the cat is out of the bag..."

"No, you definitely wouldn't get Christmas Eve off."

'Kimble, I'm going to give you a chance at purchasing - nip over to the cafe and get me a cheese and pickle sandwich.'

"I love a woman with a sense of humour."

'Your wife says you act like a fool. I thought you said she never pays attention to you.'

"Just how long has there been a maraschino cherry at the top of the organizational chart?"

Drunk Barber

Is there a spin doctor in the house?

'Wait a minute -- you haven't said anything about a retirement age.'

"Could you help me fit nine days work into five and still see my family?"

'I want a win-win situation where both wins are ours.'

"I see a girl, I see a marriage, I see her not understanding you, I see a beer belly. Do you want me to go on?"

'Avoid the Christmas rush, drink now.

When Managers have a Four Seasons pizza.

"When you hear me begin talking about our lousy sales figures, you guys create a distraction."

'Hey, 'Houdini', after you figure out how to levitate the cork ou tof the bottle, I can use your magic at the kitchen sink.'

She agreed to marry me, but she has to marry three other guys first.

'Wait while I slip on something more comfortable.'

"I must come to the supermarket with you sometime dear, they seem to sell everything!"

"We all go a bit crackers over Christmas, just try to pull yourself together."

"Jane is sales, Fred is accounting, and Johnny's song and dance."

'When you are done balancing in your chair we will continue the meeting.'

"They're a perfect match – she's high-maintenance, and he can fix anything."

'Any questions?'

"I don't like these sales figures. Prepare them in another color and font and resubmit them."

'All those in favour of my new proposal say aye. Those against, also say aye.'

'I'm sorry, Ralph, but you're going to have to move out - Prissy's allergy to your dandruff is getting worse.'

'He's sending 2,400 roses to win her back, and charging it to her credit card.'