Married Life Jester Gifts

'I do wish you'd use the study when you work from home.'

"Happens every time he enters his man cave."

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

"Jackie, why does your relationship status read ‘capitulated to’ me?!"

"She's in a conversationally induced coma."

That may well be how the catalk models do it, but I still think you look like a three legged horse in a field of cowpats!

The prying mantis,

'He does.'

"Petting zoo" "Heavy petting zoo"

"The yellow spotted green bird, eats its body weight in bugs, and mates once every three years."

"This will be hilarious!"

"The TV remote? So, I decide what we watch tonight?"

man fishing at a dock sees a billboard: Do You Know It's Anniversary

Pretty girls listen patiently. They know you'll soon get tongue-tied and won't be able to talk anymore.

'Remember you told me to be friendly to your boss.'

"So, how was your day at work, Dear?"

"I love a woman with a sense of humour."

'Your wife says you act like a fool. I thought you said she never pays attention to you.'

'Since I met you I can't eat...I can't drink...I'm broke.'

"Am I through to the next round?"

'Despite his laser eye surgery, he still doesn't see the mess he leaves in the living room every day.'

'Wait a minute -- you haven't said anything about a retirement age.'

"While you're at it Houdini, try and find the last ten years of my life in there."

'Dear, couldn't you spend part of your time actually hunting something?'

"I see a girl, I see a marriage, I see her not understanding you, I see a beer belly. Do you want me to go on?"

'No, there's nothing on my mind, but if there was I don't want to talk about it.'

'It's not that I don't appreciate your efforts to put magic into our marriage...'

'Wait while I slip on something more comfortable.'

"They're a perfect match – she's high-maintenance, and he can fix anything."

"I must come to the supermarket with you sometime dear, they seem to sell everything!"

"I'm treating you like a living deity for one day."

"There's a shortage of beds, dear."

"The main skill you need in parenting, is the ability to surreptitiously eat chocolate."

"I'm going to be vacuuming, if you want to go into the farthest room and start asking me questions."

She agreed to marry me, but she has to marry three other guys first.