Family Life Jester Gifts

How come you're so relaxed? wasn't today the first day of the school holidays?

Oh, girls...if you refer to me as 'Room Service' one more time, it's the last sleep-over.

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

"I know what this is, it's what mum and dad call 'working from home'...

"Jackie, why does your relationship status read ‘capitulated to’ me?!"

"She's in a conversationally induced coma."

That may well be how the catalk models do it, but I still think you look like a three legged horse in a field of cowpats!

'We like your zip-a-dee. You need to work on your dooh-dah.'

"The TV remote? So, I decide what we watch tonight?"

"This will be hilarious!"

"The yellow spotted green bird, eats its body weight in bugs, and mates once every three years."

The prying mantis,

'He does.'

man fishing at a dock sees a billboard: Do You Know It's Anniversary

"Because he's illiterate. That's why I have to read to him all the time."

"So, how was your day at work, Dear?"

"Yeah, I'm still scared of it too, but the worst part is that it seems to be GROWING...."

'Remember you told me to be friendly to your boss.'

'Since I met you I can't eat...I can't drink...I'm broke.'

"While you're at it Houdini, try and find the last ten years of my life in there."

'Wait a minute -- you haven't said anything about a retirement age.'

"Am I through to the next round?"

"You might need to remind Mrs. Sanders it's 'bring your DAUGHTER to work' day."

"No, four glasses of water was enough. . . now I have to go to the bathroom!"

'Dear, couldn't you spend part of your time actually hunting something?'

"I've been in the doghouse ever since I tried to get my mother-in-law hanged as a witch."

'She just came down the stairs without walking.'

"I see a girl, I see a marriage, I see her not understanding you, I see a beer belly. Do you want me to go on?"

'No, there's nothing on my mind, but if there was I don't want to talk about it.'

'It's not that I don't appreciate your efforts to put magic into our marriage...'

"There's a shortage of beds, dear."

"My entire family's coming for the holidays."

"All rise."

'Hey, 'Houdini', after you figure out how to levitate the cork ou tof the bottle, I can use your magic at the kitchen sink.'

'I told her my biological clock was going off, and she hit my snooze alarm.'