Nautical Jester Gifts

Police officer to conman: 'You're only allowed to keep striped bass.'

'This is your idea of converting your boat to a sailboat, a sheet? And while we're on the topic, is that one of my good sheets?'

'Fancy a banana split?'

'An Outboard Cow'.

'Do you think, perhaps, that we could start shooting for a few longer-term goals around here?'

Man retrives a mermaid from his swimming trunks after a swim in the sea

'Maybe it should be funnier...'

"Hire a cost cutting, bad-guy consultant to turn me into a good guy during the layoffs."

Crew Goofs Off While Out Of Sight

"Unless one is a humorist, Haskins. One should avoid attempts at humor."

Fishing from the Pier

'WELL, that certainly was a frank discussion! Shall we proceed to the inevitable apologies, retractions and clarifications?'

"I'm the Class Clown fish."

'That's her second pitcher and she doesn't even like beer - I guess she just likes to pee.'

"I like my vodka like I like my ships - on the rocks!"

That dolphin drinks like a fish.

"Humiliation is a very important part of the the process, Mr. Keifer."

Sawfish cuts through the oars of row boat.

"I'm going to shoot some hoops with members of the Flat Earth Society."

As you like it - One way of catching fish

Monks play conkers with crucifix

"When I want your advice, I'll ask for it... but in an oblique, face-saving way."

'Thanks for making it guys. Come on in and pull up a chair.' A square hole in an office floor where chairs can be pulled up from

The Nor'easter Bunny.

"That one's for higher-skilled plank walkers."

Hooks R Us.

'Ambitious? You sit there admitting you're a troublemaker!'

'Captain...that signal doesn't seem to be in our manual.'

"He may only be three years old, but he has 21 years of tech experience."

'I said that I didn't want to be interrupted...'

"He's a super-calloused fragile mystic, hexed by halitosis."

Fisherman tricks a visitor into thinking a huge buoy is a fishing float for giant fish.

"Before I start today's sermon let's take 5 minutes to view the highlights reel from the last 3 Sundays..."

We're prepared to offer you a starting salary in the low six figures...if you count the decimal.

Divers attache BITE ME sign to companion's oxygen tanks.