Swimming Jester Gifts

Man retrives a mermaid from his swimming trunks after a swim in the sea

"You can't compare apples and oranges because oranges have longer legs."

Beer Order

A woman takes a pterodactyl on a run.

"I'm the Class Clown fish."

Women in a cross country race

Ski kicker.

Clown riding unicycle exercise machine at health club.

'...How can I trust you to handle multimillion-dollar accounts if you can't even spin a basketball on your fingertip?'

Show Jumping Tantrums

'This is your idea of converting your boat to a sailboat, a sheet? And while we're on the topic, is that one of my good sheets?'

'Just a minute, I forgot something.'

Rugby oldies

"Bloody GPS-plotter is going silly again!"

'I bet he can run twice as fast as you can.' 'But he has twice as many legs!'

I'll catch up to you --- I just need my second wind.

Will sneak through the woods and throw your ball back into the fairway.

'Sit down, Roger! You're creating drag.'

"I paid three grand for this dress- I'll wear it wherever I want!"

Just for laughs, let's throw a few folks off course.

'You can tell the age of a horse by the teeth...but who wants to bite a horse.'

"It was due to ice!. . . Yes, I dropped my popsicle in my lap!"

"Just a few pumps more...!"

Late entry in the Hop, Skip and Jump event!

Santa playing golf.

Medical advice for runners road signs.

'What do you mean there's no specific rule that forbids a center fielder from doing that?'

Jungle snake...

"You're not going to eat me are you? Have you never heard of mad worm disease?"

'Fancy a banana split?'

'I'm reduced to having to jog to get exercise: The farmer has clipped my wings...'

COWS: Cow Carrot Incentive Error

"Over, damn you, over!"

You know, doc, I exercise every morning. I'm always running late!

Police officer to conman: 'You're only allowed to keep striped bass.'