Golf Jester Gifts

Will sneak through the woods and throw your ball back into the fairway.

Santa playing golf.

Man retrives a mermaid from his swimming trunks after a swim in the sea

"Hope you don't mind, but I can't find my little hammer."

A man is trying to play golf with a football boot attached to a stick.

"You can't compare apples and oranges because oranges have longer legs."

"Judgement Day: Division Four"

"Not guilty but prepared to settle out of court, your honour."

'Your Honor, my client would like to wave his right to a speedy trial.'

"#notguilty."

Women in a cross country race

'Don finally figured out a way to keep the squirrels from getting at the bird feeder.'

'Can I sue someone because I didn't win my lawsuit?'

A woman takes a pterodactyl on a run.

Beer Order

'Your Honor, in order to avoid being sued, we find the defendant 'Not guilty.''

'This court finds you guilty Mr. Jones. As your punishment, the bailiff here will slug you one.'

Yawning barristers in court

"It says here that study claims chimps and humans are 96% the same. What's your thoughts Derek?"

'Don't worry boss, it's probably archaic!'

"Dave here, is a lawyer. But don't be too impressed, he only specialises in petty crime."

'I couldn't help noticing that nobody swore YOU in!'

'It was more than my finest hour, Paltrow. It was my finest billable hour.'

'He started it!'

'My client has required the services of countless law enforcement, court, penal and probation personnel. He's not a menace...he's a jobs creator!'

Sub Post Office/Sub-Justice

"We, the jury, find the defendant."

'Is there any chance I could do the five years vicariously?'

"You are aware that’s a golf ball?"

"I got probation."

'We the jury find the defendant very, very, very, guilty.'

"Once again, I simply don't recall."

'I believe in trial and error, I believe my client being brought to trial is an error.'

Justice

"'Ignorance of the law is no excuse.' Golly! I never heard that one! Did you ever hear that one?"