Golf Course Jester Gifts

A man is trying to play golf with a football boot attached to a stick.

'Don't you think you're carrying this 'oversized' thing a bit too far?'

"We're following Carrot Top."

"Hope you don't mind, but I can't find my little hammer."

"You can't compare apples and oranges because oranges have longer legs."

"Judgement Day: Division Four"

"Not guilty but prepared to settle out of court, your honour."

'Your Honor, my client would like to wave his right to a speedy trial.'

'Your Honor, in order to avoid being sued, we find the defendant 'Not guilty.''

'This court finds you guilty Mr. Jones. As your punishment, the bailiff here will slug you one.'

"#notguilty."

Women in a cross country race

'Can I sue someone because I didn't win my lawsuit?'

A woman takes a pterodactyl on a run.

Stepping on clown's shoe...

Beer Order

Yawning barristers in court

'Don't worry boss, it's probably archaic!'

'Make him laugh, make him cry.'

'I couldn't help noticing that nobody swore YOU in!'

"Dave here, is a lawyer. But don't be too impressed, he only specialises in petty crime."

'He started it!'

'It was more than my finest hour, Paltrow. It was my finest billable hour.'

'My client has required the services of countless law enforcement, court, penal and probation personnel. He's not a menace...he's a jobs creator!'

"'Ignorance of the law is no excuse.' Golly! I never heard that one! Did you ever hear that one?"

"We, the jury, find the defendant."

'I believe in trial and error, I believe my client being brought to trial is an error.'

'Keep it under you hat, but I want you to enrich some uranium.'

"Once again, I simply don't recall."

Justice

"I'm popping out for a tinkle."

'If you can't afford a media adviser the court will appoint you one.'

"I got probation."

'We the jury find the defendant very, very, very, guilty.'

Sub Post Office/Sub-Justice