Sports Jester Gifts

"I can't find anything against it in the rule book."

Rugby oldies

'What do you mean there's no specific rule that forbids a center fielder from doing that?'

Beer Order

'Do as I say: Hand over the ball or I'll pull the finger ... er ... trigger.'

'Do you think, perhaps, that we could start shooting for a few longer-term goals around here?'

Man retrives a mermaid from his swimming trunks after a swim in the sea

"You can't compare apples and oranges because oranges have longer legs."

"Damn those dugout Martinis!"

"Hire a cost cutting, bad-guy consultant to turn me into a good guy during the layoffs."

"Unless one is a humorist, Haskins. One should avoid attempts at humor."

'WELL, that certainly was a frank discussion! Shall we proceed to the inevitable apologies, retractions and clarifications?'

'I hate playing in an inflatable dome during a power outage.'

A woman takes a pterodactyl on a run.

Women in a cross country race

Bad Interview Technique

"The incessant chatter was driving me crackers, so I got him his own twitter account."

Ski kicker.

"Humiliation is a very important part of the the process, Mr. Keifer."

"Seriously, fellas, I can't get up."

'Thanks for making it guys. Come on in and pull up a chair.' A square hole in an office floor where chairs can be pulled up from

"When I want your advice, I'll ask for it... but in an oblique, face-saving way."

'...How can I trust you to handle multimillion-dollar accounts if you can't even spin a basketball on your fingertip?'

Show Jumping Tantrums

"He may only be three years old, but he has 21 years of tech experience."

'Where did this extra

'Jim I don't think you have quite go this 'Iron Man Challenge' thing.'

'I said that I didn't want to be interrupted...'

'Ambitious? You sit there admitting you're a troublemaker!'

We're prepared to offer you a starting salary in the low six figures...if you count the decimal.

"It's terminal? Brill, I was worried my YouTube channel was loosing it edge."

"Oh, nuts – I forgot why I came out here."

'I bet he can run twice as fast as you can.' 'But he has twice as many legs!'

Now that you're awake, pack up your stuff. -Your former boss.