Fitness Jester Gifts

"Tomorrow night let's switch back to gin."

"Exercise ball? No thanks, I'm growing my own."

10K Run: Smoker's Lane.

"You can't compare apples and oranges because oranges have longer legs."

Beer Order

Staff. Manager. So then you must say "I refuse to lift weights." Hey, that's not what I expected when I hired you to be a resistance training instructor!

Women in a cross country race

A woman takes a pterodactyl on a run.

"I tried the C25k but prefer the 5k2C"

'Cut down on sodium? I'm taking that with a pinch of salt.'

'He's all eyes!'

Clown riding unicycle exercise machine at health club.

"Yeah. I'm into fitness. Fittin' dis whole sammich in my mouth."

'I understand the concept, sir, but I think I'd do better if it were a donut.'

The Man of La Mancha,and his sidekick, the Man of La Muncha.

"A barista should always follow his instincts."

"Sometimes a tightness in the chest can be a sign of high blood pressure. In your husband's case, however, I just loosened his belt a little."

'You know that thin person inside you, struggling to get out? -- He seems to have gained weight, too.'

"I forgot how to tie mine, too."

'I thought you needed some exercise, so I packed 800 pounds of weights in your backpack.'

Rugby oldies

'This is my favorite machine in the gym.'

'They opened an ice cream shop by the gym.'

"I've decided to be an organ donor."

"Do you carry generic placebos?"

'Open your mouth and say 'Ah' -- I'm going to try some anti-virus software.'

"You know I always sit there for my keep fit programme!"

'I bet he can run twice as fast as you can.' 'But he has twice as many legs!'

'I bought a treadmill, so if he sleepwalks again I know where he is.'

"I think that form '10,000' steps may have been 9,999 too many!"

Finish Annual IOK Grunion Run

"Would you like me to leave room for us to get back together?"

"We're trying to save your husband."

I'll catch up to you --- I just need my second wind.

'Um ... no - I said we'll need a stool sample.'