Nutrition Jester Gifts

"Where do we put Desserts?"

Don't be fooled by the theatrics. She'll only suck your sap!

"Our Summer Citrus IPA contains your full daily requirement of fruit and fiber."

"You owe me five bucks."

"Can you come back? We're still counting carbs."

"His mother had a great influence on him. She always made him eat his fruits and vegetables."

All Natural Nothing

"When you've lost fifteen pounds...that's when the refrigerator gets returned!"

"That's it young man. . . No more energy drinks for you!"

'Notice how with truth in packaging requirements all the labels begin with ‘OMG!''

'Good news. Your cholesterol has stayed the same, but the research findings have changed.'

"Is that your idea of a well balanced diet"

'Say low-cholesterol dairy-free alternative to cheese!'

'It's the essence of springtime. You're really enjoying it.'

Healthy living has added years to Melvin's life.

"Well, son. . . here your dad makes the famous 'fresh from nature' food!"

'If you order...You can digest it in...'

Dieting Motivation.

'Cut down on sodium? I'm taking that with a pinch of salt.'

'Diet considerations.'

"What do you have that won't kill me?"

"Here's to wellness—women's wellness!"

'Do you think I need to eat less. Do you have a book you could recommend to tell me how?'

'All tests point to the same conclusion: it is indeed a big banana.'

"Give me your metabolism! Now!"

Health Nut with a 60-Pack

'He's all eyes!'

'When you invented vegetables, Sir, did you know that my mother would be able to fit them all into one garden?'

For every Covid-19 death there are 2.5 deaths resulting from dietary risks.

Heart Disease Menu

"Here we go again, every 30,000 years or so this Paleo diet becomes a fad."

"They have oat fiber, wheat fiber, and rice fiber, but no moral fiber."

"I think you might be overdoing the omega-3 oils George."

Good Cholesterol.