Nutrition Jester Gifts

News. We're supposed to eat from the food circle. It's replacing the food pyramid. It's a lot more fun to eat from the food cone!

"Where do we put Desserts?"

"Our Summer Citrus IPA contains your full daily requirement of fruit and fiber."

Don't be fooled by the theatrics. She'll only suck your sap!

"You owe me five bucks."

"Can you come back? We're still counting carbs."

All Natural Nothing

'Notice how with truth in packaging requirements all the labels begin with ‘OMG!''

"When you've lost fifteen pounds...that's when the refrigerator gets returned!"

"His mother had a great influence on him. She always made him eat his fruits and vegetables."

"That's it young man. . . No more energy drinks for you!"

'Good news. Your cholesterol has stayed the same, but the research findings have changed.'

"Is that your idea of a well balanced diet"

'Say low-cholesterol dairy-free alternative to cheese!'

'It's the essence of springtime. You're really enjoying it.'

Healthy living has added years to Melvin's life.

"Well, son. . . here your dad makes the famous 'fresh from nature' food!"

'If you order...You can digest it in...'

"Here's to wellness—women's wellness!"

'Diet considerations.'

Dieting Motivation.

"What do you have that won't kill me?"

'Cut down on sodium? I'm taking that with a pinch of salt.'

'Do you think I need to eat less. Do you have a book you could recommend to tell me how?'

Mom? Eco club is starting a campaign to eat local food. Good idea. Would you please pack me a lunch from organic stuff grown near here? Ok. I'm sure we have something. Thanks! Oh, boy. A beet sandwich.

'All tests point to the same conclusion: it is indeed a big banana.'

"Give me your metabolism! Now!"

Health Nut with a 60-Pack

'He's all eyes!'

'When you invented vegetables, Sir, did you know that my mother would be able to fit them all into one garden?'

"Here we go again, every 30,000 years or so this Paleo diet becomes a fad."

"I think you might be overdoing the omega-3 oils George."

Heart Disease Menu

"They have oat fiber, wheat fiber, and rice fiber, but no moral fiber."

For every Covid-19 death there are 2.5 deaths resulting from dietary risks.