Health-conscious Jester Gifts

"This is a real good deal. If you take the Gigaburger Family Four, you get free liposuction vouchers."

"We're following Carrot Top."

Gooseberry Fool...

"Is that your idea of a well balanced diet"

"I'll faithfully follow any diet plan as long as you also prescribe medical marijuana."

"Gee, I never saw that coming."

Stepping on clown's shoe...

"He says that when he had a vegetable salad as an appetizer, he can now have burgers, pizza and Coke as a reward."

'Make him laugh, make him cry.'

"I'm popping out for a tinkle."

"You have a really lousy sense of humor."

'Keep it under you hat, but I want you to enrich some uranium.'

Good Cholesterol.

The crackdown on slapstick continues.

'I'm looking for someone who can make me laugh.'

Travelling jesters. No fools left aboard overnight.

'Make sport of the Queen.'

'Ringing in your ears, you say?'

'I told the jester he could take April Fool's Day off.'

'Pistachio ice cream does not cpont as a serving of greens.'

'It's the simple things.'

"What makes you think you're always the victim?"

'Now I need to find Tim Washburn in accounting so I can serve him divorce papers.'

'I hate these commerical breaks!'

'Act your shoe size, not your age.'

'From left to right: witchfinder general, jester jocular and spouse peculiar.'

'And what can you bring to the party?'

Jim's Smart Kettle

A man gets a squirt of water to the face from a clown college diploma.

Never poke fun.

"Maybe if I put these under my pillow I'll get a visit from the hair fairy."

"An apple? Doesn't he have any pizza?"

"You can eat all the cake you want and still get into heaven."

' ... and a side order of statins.'

'I have to ask; do you really care if your double-cheese bacon sausage pepperoni pizza is gluten-free?'