Eco-conscious Jester Gifts

'Nobody said anything about a bagpipe ban.'

Tonight's topic: Global warming.

"Are you sure it's vegan?"

Look! Up in the sky! It's absurd! It's inane! It's Malaprop Man! Malaprop Man, I hear you're fighting climate change now. Yes starting with solo panels, I'm reducing greenhouse guesses! I'm investing in buttery technology. I'm going to have windmeals. And of course, I've stopped drinking cola. Why is that? I'll have a smaller carbonated footprint!

"People! When you poison the last river, cut down the last tree - then you will understand that you cannot eat money."

"It's a lot of work, but we've decided to renovate this old factory."

"We've come all this way to destroy their planet only to find they're doing it themselves!!!"

"It's the new way of turning lemons into lemonade."

Little Farm Shop of Horrors with G.M produce turned into man eating plant

There's no real oil emergency...

"I modified the symbol for accuracy."

'I told you that roof turbine salesman was too pushy.'

"Yep, it says "pesticide"! Not only are they trying to kill us, they also insult us by calling us pests!"

"Environmental Protection Agency. Scott Pruitt, Administrator."

EXXON EXTINCTION

"Hands up those in favour of deferring the firm's environmental policies for another few years."

'... so I decided to make us all fabulous new outfits from the Guardian environment supplement!'

Home Heating Oil

COP26 GLASGOW

"In the near future climate change will cause huge disasters!. . . And if nature dares to disappoint me, I'll throw the packaging of my vegan burger into the bushes!"

"You're not helping the methane problem, you know."

'It's only now that we've chopped down all the trees that we can see the damage we've done.'

'Pssst! Dump your toxic wastes?'

'It took four trees to make that sign.'

'This should shake things up -- I've just found conclusive evidence that global warming is caused by whales!'

Over-packaged fruit and vegetables

You mean this sewage has already been treated?

Thanks to a generous grant from the oil companies, scientists discover the real reason glaciers are melting.

Rising oceans could prevent wind power being the main power source.

The nuclear power plant didn't doom the Snail Darter as feared.

'Another advantage is everyone will have better tans.'

New heroes!

"Man is the master of this planet, and nature has to adapt to economic concerns!"

"Reboot? I've kicked it six times, but it still won't work?"

'The general says, I'm not only expendable, but also biodegradable.'