Eco-jesters Gifts

"Hi there! - I'm the world's first eco-friendly comedian... All My Jokes Are Recycled...!"

'Ms. Blumter, please get me a copy of Educational Leadership for Dummies.'

Crisis Buzz.

Tom, you may not want to pause so long at the top of your swing.

"Yep, it says "pesticide"! Not only are they trying to kill us, they also insult us by calling us pests!"

Person made from 100% recycled materials.

'... so I decided to make us all fabulous new outfits from the Guardian environment supplement!'

"Remember, Jeremy, thou art immortal."

"You're not helping the methane problem, you know."

"This looks cool, Mum, a university offering a degree course in Greed."

The nuclear power plant didn't doom the Snail Darter as feared.

Thanks to a generous grant from the oil companies, scientists discover the real reason glaciers are melting.

'You want to become a vegan?... Well okay, but you do realise there'll be nothing lower than you on the food chain?'

Finish Annual IOK Grunion Run

'This should shake things up -- I've just found conclusive evidence that global warming is caused by whales!'

'They can't help smelling like that -- they're biodegradable.'

"Here, try this anti-dandruff fertiliser my gardener recommended."

This Junk Mail made from 75% Recycled Other Junk Mail.

Tonight's topic: Global warming.

'Nobody said anything about a bagpipe ban.'

'We'll need a different package. It deems the new preservative dissolves cardboard.'

'I jogged 120 miles last month and drank 3 gallons of wine. At 40 mpg, I'm doing more than my share for the energy crisis.'

The runner ducks ate all the snails from the garden and Jack was happy but then...

"This material is 80% recycled."

'GIT!!!'

"He's been impossible ever since his promotion."

"To be environmentally responsible I'm recycling my sister's old book reports."

"Trust me, it's just a stupid song: Of course you can smile at a crocodile..."

Cross dressing to improve exam results. [Girls doing better at school.]

"When I almost choked on a stick thinking it was a stick insect, I knew it was time to get glasses..."

"Do you have any idea who I am?"

"Walter's solution is to pump a lot of fresh air into the atmosphere."