Eco-jesters Pillows

"Sorry. . . I'm 100 per cent genetically modified."

"Hi there! - I'm the world's first eco-friendly comedian... All My Jokes Are Recycled...!"

Look! Up in the sky! It's absurd! It's inane! It's Malaprop Man! Malaprop Man, I hear you're fighting climate change now. Yes starting with solo panels, I'm reducing greenhouse guesses! I'm investing in buttery technology. I'm going to have windmeals. And of course, I've stopped drinking cola. Why is that? I'll have a smaller carbonated footprint!

'Ms. Blumter, please get me a copy of Educational Leadership for Dummies.'

Crisis Buzz.

"Yep, it says "pesticide"! Not only are they trying to kill us, they also insult us by calling us pests!"

Person made from 100% recycled materials.

Tom, you may not want to pause so long at the top of your swing.

'... so I decided to make us all fabulous new outfits from the Guardian environment supplement!'

"Remember, Jeremy, thou art immortal."

"You're not helping the methane problem, you know."

'You want to become a vegan?... Well okay, but you do realise there'll be nothing lower than you on the food chain?'

Thanks to a generous grant from the oil companies, scientists discover the real reason glaciers are melting.

'This should shake things up -- I've just found conclusive evidence that global warming is caused by whales!'

"This looks cool, Mum, a university offering a degree course in Greed."

The nuclear power plant didn't doom the Snail Darter as feared.

Finish Annual IOK Grunion Run

Tonight's topic: Global warming.

'They can't help smelling like that -- they're biodegradable.'

This Junk Mail made from 75% Recycled Other Junk Mail.

"Here, try this anti-dandruff fertiliser my gardener recommended."

Boss, there's no toxic waste anywhere near the café, is there? What is this, the eighties? What's next, you're going to ask me if any whales or baby seals are harmed in the production of our coffee? Are you going to ask me to sing "We are the World" with Stevie Wonder? Are you going to ask me to film a "very special episode" about the dangers of dope? People didn't just care about this stuff in the 1980s, boss. Want me to get some Krazy Glue and fix the "hole in the ozone layer"?

'Nobody said anything about a bagpipe ban.'

'We'll need a different package. It deems the new preservative dissolves cardboard.'

McDonald's Wraps Burgers in Grass Paper

"He's been impossible ever since his promotion."

'I jogged 120 miles last month and drank 3 gallons of wine. At 40 mpg, I'm doing more than my share for the energy crisis.'

'GIT!!!'

The runner ducks ate all the snails from the garden and Jack was happy but then...

"This material is 80% recycled."

"To be environmentally responsible I'm recycling my sister's old book reports."

"Trust me, it's just a stupid song: Of course you can smile at a crocodile..."

"When I almost choked on a stick thinking it was a stick insect, I knew it was time to get glasses..."

Cross dressing to improve exam results. [Girls doing better at school.]

"Do you have any idea who I am?"