Health-conscious Jester Pillows

"This is a real good deal. If you take the Gigaburger Family Four, you get free liposuction vouchers."

"We're following Carrot Top."

Gooseberry Fool...

"Is that your idea of a well balanced diet"

"I'll faithfully follow any diet plan as long as you also prescribe medical marijuana."

"He says that when he had a vegetable salad as an appetizer, he can now have burgers, pizza and Coke as a reward."

Stepping on clown's shoe...

'Make him laugh, make him cry.'

"I'm popping out for a tinkle."

"You have a really lousy sense of humor."

'Keep it under you hat, but I want you to enrich some uranium.'

Good Cholesterol.

The crackdown on slapstick continues.

'I'm looking for someone who can make me laugh.'

'Make sport of the Queen.'

Travelling jesters. No fools left aboard overnight.

'Ringing in your ears, you say?'

'I told the jester he could take April Fool's Day off.'

"You can eat all the cake you want and still get into heaven."

'It's the simple things.'

'Now I need to find Tim Washburn in accounting so I can serve him divorce papers.'

'I hate these commerical breaks!'

A man gets a squirt of water to the face from a clown college diploma.

'And what can you bring to the party?'

'Pistachio ice cream does not cpont as a serving of greens.'

'Act your shoe size, not your age.'

'From left to right: witchfinder general, jester jocular and spouse peculiar.'

Never poke fun.

"What makes you think you're always the victim?"

Jim's Smart Kettle

"Maybe if I put these under my pillow I'll get a visit from the hair fairy."

' ... and a side order of statins.'

"I brought chips and cookies to snack on and baby carrots to sit unopened on the blanket."

'I have to ask; do you really care if your double-cheese bacon sausage pepperoni pizza is gluten-free?'