Fitness Jester T-Shirts

"Tomorrow night let's switch back to gin."

"Exercise ball? No thanks, I'm growing my own."

"You can't compare apples and oranges because oranges have longer legs."

Beer Order

Women in a cross country race

A woman takes a pterodactyl on a run.

"I tried the C25k but prefer the 5k2C"

'Cut down on sodium? I'm taking that with a pinch of salt.'

'He's all eyes!'

Clown riding unicycle exercise machine at health club.

"Yeah. I'm into fitness. Fittin' dis whole sammich in my mouth."

'I understand the concept, sir, but I think I'd do better if it were a donut.'

"A barista should always follow his instincts."

'You know that thin person inside you, struggling to get out? -- He seems to have gained weight, too.'

"Sometimes a tightness in the chest can be a sign of high blood pressure. In your husband's case, however, I just loosened his belt a little."

Rugby oldies

'I thought you needed some exercise, so I packed 800 pounds of weights in your backpack.'

'This is my favorite machine in the gym.'

"I've decided to be an organ donor."

'They opened an ice cream shop by the gym.'

"You know I always sit there for my keep fit programme!"

"Do you carry generic placebos?"

'Open your mouth and say 'Ah' -- I'm going to try some anti-virus software.'

'I bought a treadmill, so if he sleepwalks again I know where he is.'

Finish Annual IOK Grunion Run

"We're trying to save your husband."

'I bet he can run twice as fast as you can.' 'But he has twice as many legs!'

'Um ... no - I said we'll need a stool sample.'

"Would you like me to leave room for us to get back together?"

'This exercise bike's brilliant - it's MOTORISED!'

"I think that form '10,000' steps may have been 9,999 too many!"