Baseball Jester Gifts

"Your parole office says you're throwing too close to the batters' heads."

'Look -- I'm willing to forget about all this if you are.'

"You can't compare apples and oranges because oranges have longer legs."

"For the sake of not being redundant, your honor, I feel that one 'bad dog' is sufficient."

"He's actually my co-counsel, but you may scratch his head."

'Your Honor, my client would like to wave his right to a speedy trial.'

Beer Order

A woman takes a pterodactyl on a run.

Women in a cross country race

A baby in court

'Your Honor, we've decided to go with the inanity defense...'

"Honestly, I have no idea what a 'habeas corpus' is."

"Are you trying to show contempt for this court."

'No, no. I told you to look for a precedent.'

"In mitigation, Sunny Chemicals would like to point out that prior to contracting his skin allergy, Mr Crumb was already ugly."

"I don't plead."

Disorder in the Court!

"...And now show us what you said."

Martial Arts

"These days, I'm mostly just legislating from the couch."

'I'm afraid that driving the getaway car is more than just a driving offence, Mr. Jones.'

'...How can I trust you to handle multimillion-dollar accounts if you can't even spin a basketball on your fingertip?'

"My client pleads not guilty, by reason that everyone else is doing it."

Show Jumping Tantrums

"How was I supposed to know she was allergic?"

"Guilty times infinity."

'Considering my student debt, I felt it prudent to specialize in bankruptcy law,'

'Your honor, the defense would like to buy a vowel!'

'During discovery we found five more things to bill about.'

Rugby oldies