Telly Jester Gifts

Welcome to 'The Really Cheap Gourmet.' First, go next door and borrow a lobster...

'It's called 'Oh Bugger It!' if you must know!'

"We're following Carrot Top."

"It's made entirely out of rejected resumes."

Dog fetching clown shoes.

Beer Order

Stepping on clown's shoe...

"You wake up after 100 years and the first thing you do is check your phone?"

'To make up for the decline in snail mail deliveries, I've taken to biting my master every time he gets an e-mail.'

"It says here that in your last job you did a lot of traveling."

'Make him laugh, make him cry.'

"I hate open-mike night."

"I'm popping out for a tinkle."

'Keep it under you hat, but I want you to enrich some uranium.'

You make me feel more like a veterinarian than a psychiatrist, Al. Why is that, Dr. Kapuchnik? Because you're one sick puppy.

'I'm looking for someone who can make me laugh.'

'Make sport of the Queen.'

"I only have two apps on my phone. One makes me spend all my money and the other gives me embezzling tips."

"Hi, I'm the new IT-security-expert! Where is your server room? I want to see if I can overcome your firewall!"

Travelling jesters. No fools left aboard overnight.

'Ringing in your ears, you say?'

'Your resume is quite impressive. However, I'm a little concerned about you biting your last four bosses.'

'No, I wouldn't like a free quote for central heating! Where did you get this number?'

"Hold music will return after we pause for a commerial"

Show Jumping Tantrums

'I told the jester he could take April Fool's Day off.'

'So far, so good -- I got a second interview!'

'From left to right: witchfinder general, jester jocular and spouse peculiar.'

"I slept funny!"

Never poke fun.

At The Clown Bank.

'Your resume is pure baloney. How'd you like to write political speeches?'

'I hate these commerical breaks!'

'Do you have any other references besides your mom and Santa Claus?'

'Is he taking the piss?'