Telly Jester Pillows

Welcome to 'The Really Cheap Gourmet.' First, go next door and borrow a lobster...

'It's called 'Oh Bugger It!' if you must know!'

"We're following Carrot Top."

"It's made entirely out of rejected resumes."

Dog fetching clown shoes.

Stepping on clown's shoe...

"You wake up after 100 years and the first thing you do is check your phone?"

Beer Order

'To make up for the decline in snail mail deliveries, I've taken to biting my master every time he gets an e-mail.'

"It says here that in your last job you did a lot of traveling."

"I hate open-mike night."

'Make him laugh, make him cry.'

'Keep it under you hat, but I want you to enrich some uranium.'

"I'm popping out for a tinkle."

"I only have two apps on my phone. One makes me spend all my money and the other gives me embezzling tips."

'I'm looking for someone who can make me laugh.'

"Hi, I'm the new IT-security-expert! Where is your server room? I want to see if I can overcome your firewall!"

'Make sport of the Queen.'

Travelling jesters. No fools left aboard overnight.

'Ringing in your ears, you say?'

'Your resume is quite impressive. However, I'm a little concerned about you biting your last four bosses.'

'No, I wouldn't like a free quote for central heating! Where did you get this number?'

Show Jumping Tantrums

"Hold music will return after we pause for a commerial"

'I told the jester he could take April Fool's Day off.'

'So far, so good -- I got a second interview!'

"I slept funny!"

Never poke fun.

'I hate these commerical breaks!'

At The Clown Bank.

'From left to right: witchfinder general, jester jocular and spouse peculiar.'

'Your resume is pure baloney. How'd you like to write political speeches?'

'Do you have any other references besides your mom and Santa Claus?'

Rugby oldies