Joking Jester Pillows

'Is he taking the piss?'

You make me feel more like a veterinarian than a psychiatrist, Al. Why is that, Dr. Kapuchnik? Because you're one sick puppy.

'You must be the new taster.'

'Now I'm getting those 'Psychic Pal' commercials when I dream!'

"You can't compare apples and oranges because oranges have longer legs."

Pappa clown views offspring in maternity window.

Dog fetching clown shoes.

"It's great to see Biff; Socksie the cat is out of the bag..."

Fleas Navidad.

A woman takes a pterodactyl on a run.

"Merry Christmas"

Women in a cross country race

Three card brag - I'm great! I'm really handsome & I'm very rich.

Mr Claus, tests indicate your blood is 95% milk and cookies.

"I'd have been here sooner if it hadn't been for early detection."

Father Christmas uses laptop on roof. Man says: 'I think someone is stealing our wi-fi.'

"I've had. . . um. . . just a small sherry. . ."

Why are you insisting on spending Christmas in hospital, Gran? I prefer the Santa here, darling.

'That'll be all the mince pies and sherry!'

'Apparently our postcode qualifies us for Government sponsored loft insulation.'

"At this rate I'll be delivering all gift certificates, gift cards and I.O.U.s!"

King Pin

"Maybe this year..."

'What do you expect? A red bulb burned out, and you're free till Christmas.'

Elf of the Month

Fishing Contest

'But sinister gales - with that armour?'

No, sir, that entr

Cleaning the Horse

Shirts vs Skins: 'I don't know about this.'

'Your dad only works one day a week but mine only works ONE day a year!'

C is for Cracker

At The Clown Bank.

During a respite in union negotiations, simmering tensions boil over as some disgruntled members of the toymakers elf union take matters in their own hands.

Comedy course highlights fake nose