Jolly Jester Pillows

"I've been pretty good. Which I'm sure you'll agree is good enough for all but the most tyrannical extremist."

"Even my mother and father never believed in me."

'They're lousy singers, but you have to admire their dedication.'

'That'll be all the mince pies and sherry!'

"It was in the middle of the night when I heard strange noises coming out of the chimney...I grabbed the gun and..."

"I'm installing a backup camera. I'm tired of you sending me out to repair all the chimneys you back into."

"At this rate I'll be delivering all gift certificates, gift cards and I.O.U.s!"

"If I might be serious for a moment..."

"Judgement Day: Division Four"

"She just takes things too seriously in our relationship."

"You can't compare apples and oranges because oranges have longer legs."

Pappa clown views offspring in maternity window.

Well... Tis the season to be jolly!

"Not guilty but prepared to settle out of court, your honour."

"It's great to see Biff; Socksie the cat is out of the bag..."

Dog fetching clown shoes.

'Your Honor, my client would like to wave his right to a speedy trial.'

"These meetings bring out my creative side. How's this for the boss?"

A woman takes a pterodactyl on a run.

'Your Honor, in order to avoid being sued, we find the defendant 'Not guilty.''

'This court finds you guilty Mr. Jones. As your punishment, the bailiff here will slug you one.'

"Merry Christmas"

"#notguilty."

Women in a cross country race

'Can I sue someone because I didn't win my lawsuit?'

"The trees are laughing at us."

"Wheeeeeeee!"

Three card brag - I'm great! I'm really handsome & I'm very rich.

Yawning barristers in court

Mr Claus, tests indicate your blood is 95% milk and cookies.

Tennis ball girl.

'I couldn't help noticing that nobody swore YOU in!'

Santa's Helpers

"Dave here, is a lawyer. But don't be too impressed, he only specialises in petty crime."

'Don't worry boss, it's probably archaic!'