Trial Jester Gifts

'Your Honor, do we need the jury judging my performance?'

"Am I to assume that your client will be submitting an insanity plea?"

"A backflip with a full twist, handspray pike and a three quarter roll will do nothing to further your cause Mr Laney."

'Do you think, perhaps, that we could start shooting for a few longer-term goals around here?'

'Whe they said 'God is my Judge', I didn't realize He was a real attorney.'

'Look -- I'm willing to forget about all this if you are.'

'I request an postponement, Your Honor -- I have to study for my bar exams.'

Halfway across the Hudson River Billy Joe realized he wasn't going to Elvis Island.

"Judgement Day: Division Four"

'Pass it to Dewey! He's got himself into some kind of rhythm!!'

"For the sake of not being redundant, your honor, I feel that one 'bad dog' is sufficient."

"Hire a cost cutting, bad-guy consultant to turn me into a good guy during the layoffs."

'How about a game of cards?'

'It wasn't long before Larry realized his calling as a lawyer whisperer...'

"He's actually my co-counsel, but you may scratch his head."

The New Fundamentals of Art: 'We'll begin with the most basic figure, the trademark attorney...'

"Not guilty but prepared to settle out of court, your honour."

Supreme Court. It's either constitutional or unconstitutional - We don't use a scale of one to ten!

'Wait!... I don't want to take Brady out right now. He's just getting into rhythm.'

"Unless one is a humorist, Haskins. One should avoid attempts at humor."

"So what's this special distracting tactic you've developed?"

'Your Honor, my client would like to wave his right to a speedy trial.'

'WELL, that certainly was a frank discussion! Shall we proceed to the inevitable apologies, retractions and clarifications?'

"#notguilty."

'This court finds you guilty Mr. Jones. As your punishment, the bailiff here will slug you one.'

'Can I sue someone because I didn't win my lawsuit?'

'Your Honor, in order to avoid being sued, we find the defendant 'Not guilty.''

"Objection, your honor, my client's feelings are being hurt."

Yawning barristers in court

A baby in court

"I say we move on to dessert."

'Don't worry boss, it's probably archaic!'

'I couldn't help noticing that nobody swore YOU in!'

Justice 4 Ron

Basketball.