Jail Jester Gifts

'The hard time isn't so bad, but that community service is murder!'

'I'm being released on Blu-ray.'

"Wait a minute. Which one of us is in jail and which one is visiting?"

'Whe they said 'God is my Judge', I didn't realize He was a real attorney.'

'Look -- I'm willing to forget about all this if you are.'

"Judgement Day: Division Four"

'How about a game of cards?'

'Pass it to Dewey! He's got himself into some kind of rhythm!!'

"For the sake of not being redundant, your honor, I feel that one 'bad dog' is sufficient."

"He's actually my co-counsel, but you may scratch his head."

'Wait!... I don't want to take Brady out right now. He's just getting into rhythm.'

"So what's this special distracting tactic you've developed?"

"Not guilty but prepared to settle out of court, your honour."

Supreme Court. It's either constitutional or unconstitutional - We don't use a scale of one to ten!

'Your Honor, my client would like to wave his right to a speedy trial.'

'This court finds you guilty Mr. Jones. As your punishment, the bailiff here will slug you one.'

'Can I sue someone because I didn't win my lawsuit?'

'Your Honor, in order to avoid being sued, we find the defendant 'Not guilty.''

"Objection, your honor, my client's feelings are being hurt."

"#notguilty."

Yawning barristers in court

"I say we move on to dessert."

Elephants never scared me. I once chased three of them into the river/I was able - before I lost my teeth - to bite a crocodile's tail right off / I'll never forget the time I roared so loud, twenty or maybe thirty monkeys fell right out of the tree.

A baby in court

'Don't worry boss, it's probably archaic!'

'I couldn't help noticing that nobody swore YOU in!'

The Scones-Monkey Trial. I, Judge Sadie, am prepared to rule. House of Java.net Cybercafe. Intelligent design versus evolution. Borrrinnng. That is my legal finding. Appeal. Will all bipeds please rise.

"The lettuce I paid with was fresher than the lettuce I bought."

'Court is in recess for one hour. Everyone convene on the playground and we will choose sides for dodgeball!'

'Apparently it's part of the evolutionary process!'

Basketball.

Crow and fox

"Dave here, is a lawyer. But don't be too impressed, he only specialises in petty crime."

'Your Honor, we've decided to go with the inanity defense...'

'Captain, we're going to have to ask you to stop spiking the ball.'