Courthouse Jester Gifts

"I'm sorry, Timothy, but there's no suing over spilt milk, either."

'Look -- I'm willing to forget about all this if you are.'

'I request an postponement, Your Honor -- I have to study for my bar exams.'

'Court's in recess!'

"For the sake of not being redundant, your honor, I feel that one 'bad dog' is sufficient."

'Pass it to Dewey! He's got himself into some kind of rhythm!!'

'It wasn't long before Larry realized his calling as a lawyer whisperer...'

'How about a game of cards?'

"He's actually my co-counsel, but you may scratch his head."

The New Fundamentals of Art: 'We'll begin with the most basic figure, the trademark attorney...'

'Wait!... I don't want to take Brady out right now. He's just getting into rhythm.'

"So what's this special distracting tactic you've developed?"

Supreme Court. It's either constitutional or unconstitutional - We don't use a scale of one to ten!

'Your Honor, my client would like to wave his right to a speedy trial.'

COWS: Cow Pong

"Objection, your honor, my client's feelings are being hurt."

"I say we move on to dessert."

A baby in court

'Court is in recess for one hour. Everyone convene on the playground and we will choose sides for dodgeball!'

'He's not called the 'Hanging About Judge' for nothing.'

Portrait of a Serial Attorney.

'They named special prosecutors to investigate each other.'

"Just one more outburst and I can have this chicken tenderized."

The Scones-Monkey Trial. I, Judge Sadie, am prepared to rule. House of Java.net Cybercafe. Intelligent design versus evolution. Borrrinnng. That is my legal finding. Appeal. Will all bipeds please rise.

Justice 4 Ron

"The lettuce I paid with was fresher than the lettuce I bought."

"Your Honor, prior to sentencing, if it please the court, I'd like to make just a few brief remarks about pâte brisée."

Basketball.

Medieval headlines.

'Oh, he's been a bad dog all right - why else would he lawyer up?'

'Captain, we're going to have to ask you to stop spiking the ball.'

'Your Honor, we've decided to go with the inanity defense...'

'That will be 100 hours of community service in some other community.'

"Are you trying to show contempt for this court."

"Twenty five years! But your honor,