Court Jester (humor) Gifts

'Can I play center?'

'I request an postponement, Your Honor -- I have to study for my bar exams.'

'Look -- I'm willing to forget about all this if you are.'

'How about a game of cards?'

TV jester.

'Pass it to Dewey! He's got himself into some kind of rhythm!!'

'It wasn't long before Larry realized his calling as a lawyer whisperer...'

"For the sake of not being redundant, your honor, I feel that one 'bad dog' is sufficient."

"He's actually my co-counsel, but you may scratch his head."

The New Fundamentals of Art: 'We'll begin with the most basic figure, the trademark attorney...'

"So what's this special distracting tactic you've developed?"

Supreme Court. It's either constitutional or unconstitutional - We don't use a scale of one to ten!

'Wait!... I don't want to take Brady out right now. He's just getting into rhythm.'

'Your Honor, my client would like to wave his right to a speedy trial.'

"He doesn't suffer fools gladly."

COWS: Cow Pong

'Let it go, will you? -- That whoopie cushion incident was years ago!'

"Objection, your honor, my client's feelings are being hurt."

A baby in court

"I say we move on to dessert."

"Another slander suit!"

Medieval headlines.

"I don't think you can get a peace prize for ending a war that you started."

'They named special prosecutors to investigate each other.'

"Your Honor, prior to sentencing, if it please the court, I'd like to make just a few brief remarks about pâte brisée."

Basketball.

The Scones-Monkey Trial. I, Judge Sadie, am prepared to rule. House of Java.net Cybercafe. Intelligent design versus evolution. Borrrinnng. That is my legal finding. Appeal. Will all bipeds please rise.

"Just one more outburst and I can have this chicken tenderized."

'He's not called the 'Hanging About Judge' for nothing.'

Portrait of a Serial Attorney.

'Court is in recess for one hour. Everyone convene on the playground and we will choose sides for dodgeball!'

Justice 4 Ron

'Oh, he's been a bad dog all right - why else would he lawyer up?'

'Your Honor, we've decided to go with the inanity defense...'

'That will be 100 hours of community service in some other community.'