Law Court Jester Gifts

"Yeah, sometimes one of those litigators will crawl out of the canal and eat one or two of the neighborhood pets."

'Whe they said 'God is my Judge', I didn't realize He was a real attorney.'

'I request an postponement, Your Honor -- I have to study for my bar exams.'

'Look -- I'm willing to forget about all this if you are.'

'How about a game of cards?'

"For the sake of not being redundant, your honor, I feel that one 'bad dog' is sufficient."

"Judgement Day: Division Four"

'It wasn't long before Larry realized his calling as a lawyer whisperer...'

'Pass it to Dewey! He's got himself into some kind of rhythm!!'

"He's actually my co-counsel, but you may scratch his head."

The New Fundamentals of Art: 'We'll begin with the most basic figure, the trademark attorney...'

"So what's this special distracting tactic you've developed?"

'Wait!... I don't want to take Brady out right now. He's just getting into rhythm.'

"Not guilty but prepared to settle out of court, your honour."

Supreme Court. It's either constitutional or unconstitutional - We don't use a scale of one to ten!

'Your Honor, my client would like to wave his right to a speedy trial.'

COWS: Cow Pong

'This court finds you guilty Mr. Jones. As your punishment, the bailiff here will slug you one.'

'Your Honor, in order to avoid being sued, we find the defendant 'Not guilty.''

"#notguilty."

"Objection, your honor, my client's feelings are being hurt."

'Can I sue someone because I didn't win my lawsuit?'

Yawning barristers in court

A baby in court

"I say we move on to dessert."

"Your Honor, prior to sentencing, if it please the court, I'd like to make just a few brief remarks about pâte brisée."

Basketball.

The Scones-Monkey Trial. I, Judge Sadie, am prepared to rule. House of Java.net Cybercafe. Intelligent design versus evolution. Borrrinnng. That is my legal finding. Appeal. Will all bipeds please rise.

'They named special prosecutors to investigate each other.'

'I couldn't help noticing that nobody swore YOU in!'

"Dave here, is a lawyer. But don't be too impressed, he only specialises in petty crime."

Medieval headlines.

Justice 4 Ron

"Just one more outburst and I can have this chicken tenderized."

'Don't worry boss, it's probably archaic!'