Juridical Jester Gifts

'It's from the Federal Trade Commission -- we have to put in a non-smoking section.'

'Do you think, perhaps, that we could start shooting for a few longer-term goals around here?'

'Whe they said 'God is my Judge', I didn't realize He was a real attorney.'

'I request an postponement, Your Honor -- I have to study for my bar exams.'

'Look -- I'm willing to forget about all this if you are.'

Dog walking Human.

"For the sake of not being redundant, your honor, I feel that one 'bad dog' is sufficient."

"Hire a cost cutting, bad-guy consultant to turn me into a good guy during the layoffs."

'It wasn't long before Larry realized his calling as a lawyer whisperer...'

'Pass it to Dewey! He's got himself into some kind of rhythm!!'

'How about a game of cards?'

"Judgement Day: Division Four"

"He's actually my co-counsel, but you may scratch his head."

The New Fundamentals of Art: 'We'll begin with the most basic figure, the trademark attorney...'

"Not guilty but prepared to settle out of court, your honour."

Supreme Court. It's either constitutional or unconstitutional - We don't use a scale of one to ten!

"So what's this special distracting tactic you've developed?"

"Unless one is a humorist, Haskins. One should avoid attempts at humor."

'Wait!... I don't want to take Brady out right now. He's just getting into rhythm.'

'Your Honor, my client would like to wave his right to a speedy trial.'

'WELL, that certainly was a frank discussion! Shall we proceed to the inevitable apologies, retractions and clarifications?'

'Can I sue someone because I didn't win my lawsuit?'

"Objection, your honor, my client's feelings are being hurt."

'This court finds you guilty Mr. Jones. As your punishment, the bailiff here will slug you one.'

"#notguilty."

'Your Honor, in order to avoid being sued, we find the defendant 'Not guilty.''

Yawning barristers in court

"I say we move on to dessert."

A baby in court

'Court is in recess for one hour. Everyone convene on the playground and we will choose sides for dodgeball!'

Basketball.

Justice 4 Ron

"Your Honor, prior to sentencing, if it please the court, I'd like to make just a few brief remarks about pâte brisée."

'I couldn't help noticing that nobody swore YOU in!'

'Don't worry boss, it's probably archaic!'