Judicial Jesters Gifts

'In a five to four decision today, the Supreme Court said 'Leave us alone, and we'll leave you alone.''

'Community service? Okay... but one at a time, hey?'

'We, the jury, find the defendant guilty... and his attorney obnoxious.'

"I don’t understand why public support for the Supreme Court is flagging...."

'The prisons are overcrowded, so why don't you just drop and give me fifty push-ups?'

"The witness will not tweet his testimony."

'Look -- I'm willing to forget about all this if you are.'

'How about a game of cards?'

"Judgement Day: Division Four"

'Pass it to Dewey! He's got himself into some kind of rhythm!!'

"For the sake of not being redundant, your honor, I feel that one 'bad dog' is sufficient."

"He's actually my co-counsel, but you may scratch his head."

The New Fundamentals of Art: 'We'll begin with the most basic figure, the trademark attorney...'

"Not guilty but prepared to settle out of court, your honour."

'Wait!... I don't want to take Brady out right now. He's just getting into rhythm.'

"So what's this special distracting tactic you've developed?"

'Your Honor, my client would like to wave his right to a speedy trial.'

'This court finds you guilty Mr. Jones. As your punishment, the bailiff here will slug you one.'

'Can I sue someone because I didn't win my lawsuit?'

"#notguilty."

COWS: Cow Pong

"Objection, your honor, my client's feelings are being hurt."

'Your Honor, in order to avoid being sued, we find the defendant 'Not guilty.''

Yawning barristers in court

A baby in court

"I say we move on to dessert."

"Dave here, is a lawyer. But don't be too impressed, he only specialises in petty crime."

Basketball.

'I couldn't help noticing that nobody swore YOU in!'

Medieval headlines.

'Court is in recess for one hour. Everyone convene on the playground and we will choose sides for dodgeball!'

'Don't worry boss, it's probably archaic!'

'He started it!'

'My client has required the services of countless law enforcement, court, penal and probation personnel. He's not a menace...he's a jobs creator!'

'Your Honor, we've decided to go with the inanity defense...'