Judicial Jesters Pillows

'In a five to four decision today, the Supreme Court said 'Leave us alone, and we'll leave you alone.''

'Community service? Okay... but one at a time, hey?'

'We, the jury, find the defendant guilty... and his attorney obnoxious.'

"I don’t understand why public support for the Supreme Court is flagging...."

'The prisons are overcrowded, so why don't you just drop and give me fifty push-ups?'

"The witness will not tweet his testimony."

'Whe they said 'God is my Judge', I didn't realize He was a real attorney.'

'Look -- I'm willing to forget about all this if you are.'

"For the sake of not being redundant, your honor, I feel that one 'bad dog' is sufficient."

'How about a game of cards?'

"Judgement Day: Division Four"

'Pass it to Dewey! He's got himself into some kind of rhythm!!'

"He's actually my co-counsel, but you may scratch his head."

The New Fundamentals of Art: 'We'll begin with the most basic figure, the trademark attorney...'

"So what's this special distracting tactic you've developed?"

"Not guilty but prepared to settle out of court, your honour."

'Wait!... I don't want to take Brady out right now. He's just getting into rhythm.'

Supreme Court. It's either constitutional or unconstitutional - We don't use a scale of one to ten!

'Your Honor, my client would like to wave his right to a speedy trial.'

COWS: Cow Pong

'Can I sue someone because I didn't win my lawsuit?'

"#notguilty."

"Objection, your honor, my client's feelings are being hurt."

'Your Honor, in order to avoid being sued, we find the defendant 'Not guilty.''

'This court finds you guilty Mr. Jones. As your punishment, the bailiff here will slug you one.'

Yawning barristers in court

"I say we move on to dessert."

A baby in court

Basketball.

'Court is in recess for one hour. Everyone convene on the playground and we will choose sides for dodgeball!'

'Don't worry boss, it's probably archaic!'

The Scones-Monkey Trial. I, Judge Sadie, am prepared to rule. House of Java.net Cybercafe. Intelligent design versus evolution. Borrrinnng. That is my legal finding. Appeal. Will all bipeds please rise.

"Dave here, is a lawyer. But don't be too impressed, he only specialises in petty crime."

'I couldn't help noticing that nobody swore YOU in!'

Medieval headlines.