Court Jester Humorist Gifts

'I know you had to give him a job because he's a relative, but I still think a Press Secretary should know how to read and write.'

'I request an postponement, Your Honor -- I have to study for my bar exams.'

'Pass it to Dewey! He's got himself into some kind of rhythm!!'

TV jester.

My Brother Al once went through a period of depression, your honor. He would just sit around in his robe all day. Then his psychiatrist got him out of his funk. Would you like to have his doctor's phone number? ? ?

'How about a game of cards?'

'It wasn't long before Larry realized his calling as a lawyer whisperer...'

"He's actually my co-counsel, but you may scratch his head."

"So what's this special distracting tactic you've developed?"

'Wait!... I don't want to take Brady out right now. He's just getting into rhythm.'

'Your Honor, my client would like to wave his right to a speedy trial.'

COWS: Cow Pong

"He doesn't suffer fools gladly."

'Let it go, will you? -- That whoopie cushion incident was years ago!'

Squash Courts - "Insurance anyone"

"The prosecution shall stop referring to the defendant as 'the alleged, totally guilty as sin guy'."

"Why won't you cuddle?"

"I say we move on to dessert."

"Dave here, is a lawyer. But don't be too impressed, he only specialises in petty crime."

'They named special prosecutors to investigate each other.'

"Just one more outburst and I can have this chicken tenderized."

Justice 4 Ron

"Am I going to get my just desserts?"

"Your Honor, prior to sentencing, if it please the court, I'd like to make just a few brief remarks about pâte brisée."

'Court is in recess for one hour. Everyone convene on the playground and we will choose sides for dodgeball!'

'Your honor, if I may digress for a moment, who does your hair?'

Basketball.

'He's not called the 'Hanging About Judge' for nothing.'

Medieval headlines.

Lawyer's secretary has in boxes labeled: Before the Fact and After the Fact.

"I don't think you can get a peace prize for ending a war that you started."

Portrait of a Serial Attorney.

'But your honor, imitation is the sincerest form of copyright infringement.'

'The highest court in the land.'

"The witness will confine his 'Knock knock' answers to 'Who's there?'"