Courtroom Jesters Gifts

"And this is the juvenile court."

'My client pleads not guilty, Your Honor, on the grounds that what you don't know won't hurt you.'

'In lieu of sentencing, my client has agreed to be lectured by his wife.'

'My client pleads that you stop gavelling in double-four time.'

'Raised as an orphan, my client thought by hogtying Mr. and Mrs. Peabody to their T.V. he was crating a family unit.'

Just what were you doing in Georgia anyways Hmmm Isn't it true that you were lookin' for a soul to steal Your confession states that you were in a bind cause you were way behind, Care to elaborate, Mr, Seacrest I mean, Lucifer,,

"We specialize in pretrial publicity."

"I hate performance review season."

'I request an postponement, Your Honor -- I have to study for my bar exams.'

'Court's in recess!'

'Pass it to Dewey! He's got himself into some kind of rhythm!!'

'How about a game of cards?'

'It wasn't long before Larry realized his calling as a lawyer whisperer...'

"He's actually my co-counsel, but you may scratch his head."

'Wait!... I don't want to take Brady out right now. He's just getting into rhythm.'

"So what's this special distracting tactic you've developed?"

COWS: Cow Pong

"I say we move on to dessert."

Portrait of a Serial Attorney.

Medieval headlines.

'Court is in recess for one hour. Everyone convene on the playground and we will choose sides for dodgeball!'

"Permission To Treat Prosecutor as Hostile, Your Honor?"

Justice 4 Ron

Basketball.

"Just one more outburst and I can have this chicken tenderized."

"Your Honor, prior to sentencing, if it please the court, I'd like to make just a few brief remarks about pâte brisée."

'They named special prosecutors to investigate each other.'

'He's not called the 'Hanging About Judge' for nothing.'

'Oh, he's been a bad dog all right - why else would he lawyer up?'

'That will be 100 hours of community service in some other community.'

'I got a suspended sentence.'

'The score is tied and we've only got a 20-second timeout, so we've gotta be quick. ... I'm 'X'. Who wants to be 'O'?'

'It's all just an unfortunate misunderstanding, Your Honor, it was 'Talk Like a Pirate' day, and,,,,'

'Radford, go in for Bloom. ... Uh-uh-uh! Finish your vegetables first!'

"Twenty five years! But your honor,