Courtroom Jesters Gifts

"And this is the juvenile court."

I have a weak case, so I thought I'd use big word balloons.

Your honor, I ask you: Are these the legs of a murderer? And if so, who cares?

'My client pleads not guilty, Your Honor, on the grounds that what you don't know won't hurt you.'

'In lieu of sentencing, my client has agreed to be lectured by his wife.'

'Your honor, we, the jury, are dreadlocked.'

'My client pleads that you stop gavelling in double-four time.'

'Raised as an orphan, my client thought by hogtying Mr. and Mrs. Peabody to their T.V. he was crating a family unit.'

Just what were you doing in Georgia anyways Hmmm Isn't it true that you were lookin' for a soul to steal Your confession states that you were in a bind cause you were way behind, Care to elaborate, Mr, Seacrest I mean, Lucifer,,

"The only consolation is knowing my lawyer is three cells down."

"We specialize in pretrial publicity."

"I hate performance review season."

'I request an postponement, Your Honor -- I have to study for my bar exams.'

'Court's in recess!'

'How about a game of cards?'

'It wasn't long before Larry realized his calling as a lawyer whisperer...'

'Pass it to Dewey! He's got himself into some kind of rhythm!!'

"He's actually my co-counsel, but you may scratch his head."

"So what's this special distracting tactic you've developed?"

'Wait!... I don't want to take Brady out right now. He's just getting into rhythm.'

COWS: Cow Pong

"I say we move on to dessert."

Medieval headlines.

Portrait of a Serial Attorney.

'They named special prosecutors to investigate each other.'

Basketball.

'He's not called the 'Hanging About Judge' for nothing.'

"Just one more outburst and I can have this chicken tenderized."

Justice 4 Ron

"Permission To Treat Prosecutor as Hostile, Your Honor?"

"Your Honor, prior to sentencing, if it please the court, I'd like to make just a few brief remarks about pâte brisée."

'Court is in recess for one hour. Everyone convene on the playground and we will choose sides for dodgeball!'

'Oh, he's been a bad dog all right - why else would he lawyer up?'

'That will be 100 hours of community service in some other community.'

'I got a suspended sentence.'