Court Jesting Aficionados Gifts

'Ask your partner if he'd be interested in a spin-off show in the time slot after yours.'

TV jester.

COWS: Cow Pong

Medieval headlines.

"Permission To Treat Prosecutor as Hostile, Your Honor?"

"I'm popping out for a tinkle."

"Twenty five years! But your honor,

"Someone should have warned you - he doesn't suffer fools gladly."

I hate these he shed, she shed cases.

"Can you identify the person who assaulted you and then stole your title?"

'Yes, it's a foul. But is it a flagrant foul?'

"Oh well, what does a jester know?"

'Your Honor, permission to abandon the strict, upstanding, fiduciary responsibilities of my profession for a chance at fleeting personal, carnal gratification?'

'My client doesn't wish to answer any more questions.'

'Your Honor, my client is incontinent to stand trail...'

The afternoons are okay, it's at night that I can't sleep.

'When did YOU switch to a talk format?'

"Not good, your honor. My client is supposed to be executed a week before that court date."

Prosecutor's Office. The judge threw out the confession --- He said it was coerced. You violated the duress code!

Hi. I'm Jonathan. I'll be your judge this afternoon. Legal Menu.

Low Class Action Suit

'As to bond - while I personally have faith in your client the court cannot ignore the obvious risk of flight.'

"Case dismissed."

'Do I have to enter a plea?'

"A cashier told me to have a nice day and I didn't. Am I liable or can I sue her?"

"We specialize in pretrial publicity."

"With all due respect, instead of the phrase 'bank robbery,' we request the alleged incident be referred to as an 'Elmore Leonard moment!'"

'No kidding? You don't wear anything underneath either?'

A barrister with his first brief

'The prisons are full, so I'm sentencing you to marry Rosie O'Donnell.'

Should I be encouraged by your robe, your honor? No. It's just laundry day. Have a nice verdict.

Just what were you doing in Georgia anyways Hmmm Isn't it true that you were lookin' for a soul to steal Your confession states that you were in a bind cause you were way behind, Care to elaborate, Mr, Seacrest I mean, Lucifer,,

"Before counsel make their final summations, we're going to take some calls from across the country."

'Granted, Your Honor, he may look like a criminal.'

I have a weak case, so I thought I'd use big word balloons.