Jail Jokester Gifts

"I cloned a guy in Reno. How 'bout yourself?"

'Well, I hope you're a people person -- the prisons are very overcrowded.'

'I said you're next, Hibblemeyer. . . Hibblemeyer!'

'So one day I thought, I'll teach you brats to laugh at me!'

"White Collar Prison"

Yoga Sequence to Avoid

Police Lineup Escape

Prisoner Crossing

'My biggest mistake was to make a 'death-bed confession'... then I made a full recovery!'

'I mistakenly thought that 'mutual' meant the funds were equally mine to use.'

'OVERCROWDED-I'll say it's OVERCROWDED!'

"I'm the first one in my family to do time."

'I'm being released on Blu-ray.'

'The hard time isn't so bad, but that community service is murder!'

'I was okay with the library and rec room, but the wall climbing has got me nervous.'

"You're allowed one facebook posting."

Man in arrow suit - 'I'm in for white collar crime.'

"The brochure said escape to Tahiti, so here I am."

'I'm here for jumping my bond... Bail bond.'

'Well, you're not acting like you have every confidence in me.'

'I tried to give a woman the Heimlich maneuver, and it turned out she was doing the Macarena.'

"The reason I never get any visitors is because all my family and friends are in here!"

Inmate on cell phone: 'I'd like to request 'Jailhouse Rock'.'

"Miss Robins, get me a ladder and a hacksaw, if you will, please."

"I think I'm just going to sit this recession out."

'I need a new hobby in here. I used to be into creative accounting.'

'The Not so Great Escape.'

Post Office fraud wing in a prison.

"They weren't very friendly when they proscuted me for obtaining loans under false names."

'MY doctor says I don't get out enough!'

At least you have security!

"There's a rumour going round that one of you is planning an escape."

"Look on the bright side. You no longer live with your parents."

'I suppose you'd like your porridge shaken, not stirred?'

'Your mother reckons you look like your baby photos now without your dandruff, dear.'