Jail Time Jokester Gifts

'I said you're next, Hibblemeyer. . . Hibblemeyer!'

What do you mean, "Did I try anything funny?"

'So one day I thought, I'll teach you brats to laugh at me!'

"White Collar Prison"

"He belongs to a lawyer."

Arrogant junior barrister

"Your honor, I intend to put the system on trial."

Justice

'...In an attempt to speed up our backlog of cases we've computerized the scales of justice.'

Police Lineup Escape

"And here's good news for the defense. I am disqualifying myself on the grounds of blatant prejudice."

When staffing agencies screw up.

Mel Hoffman - Attorney TO the stars.

'Are you sure you saw my client do it? Let me remind you, it takes one to know one.'

"No, go ahead. I enjoy good gossipy hearsay."

'I warned you counselor, no more tricks.'

"Guilty times infinity."

'There's no catch, Mr. Jones. We offer 100% bonefide, free, crummy legal advice.'

'I believe it's 'feed a fever and starve a lawyer.''

"I hope your day is going bad."

"The genius of the justice system for us is that everyone has the right to a lawyer."

'My biggest mistake was to make a 'death-bed confession'... then I made a full recovery!'

'What could I have done? The defence's motion was written on legal tender.'

"You want the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth?" (Colour)

Your Honor, We Find The Defendant 'Naughty'.

'The hard time isn't so bad, but that community service is murder!'

"I'm the first one in my family to do time."

"Move to strike as non-responsive."

Shoplifter behind a barcode.

Small Clams Court

"Sentencing...my gut feeling is disembowelment...but my head says decapitation."

Are you guilty or not guilty? What happens if I plead guilty?

'I was okay with the library and rec room, but the wall climbing has got me nervous.'