Jail Time Jokester Gifts

'I need a new hobby in here. I used to be into creative accounting.'

'I said you're next, Hibblemeyer. . . Hibblemeyer!'

What do you mean, "Did I try anything funny?"

'So one day I thought, I'll teach you brats to laugh at me!'

"White Collar Prison"

"He belongs to a lawyer."

Arrogant junior barrister

"Your honor, I intend to put the system on trial."

Justice

'...In an attempt to speed up our backlog of cases we've computerized the scales of justice.'

"And here's good news for the defense. I am disqualifying myself on the grounds of blatant prejudice."

Police Lineup Escape

When staffing agencies screw up.

Mel Hoffman - Attorney TO the stars.

'Are you sure you saw my client do it? Let me remind you, it takes one to know one.'

"No, go ahead. I enjoy good gossipy hearsay."

'I warned you counselor, no more tricks.'

"The genius of the justice system for us is that everyone has the right to a lawyer."

'What could I have done? The defence's motion was written on legal tender.'

'I believe it's 'feed a fever and starve a lawyer.''

"Guilty times infinity."

'My biggest mistake was to make a 'death-bed confession'... then I made a full recovery!'

'There's no catch, Mr. Jones. We offer 100% bonefide, free, crummy legal advice.'

"I hope your day is going bad."

"You want the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth?" (Colour)

"Sentencing...my gut feeling is disembowelment...but my head says decapitation."

Are you guilty or not guilty? What happens if I plead guilty?

!. Exclamation point overrulled.

'The hard time isn't so bad, but that community service is murder!'

Shoplifter behind a barcode.

I swear to tell the truth, but not solemnly.

"Move to strike as non-responsive."

"I'm the first one in my family to do time."

Small Clams Court

Your Honor, We Find The Defendant 'Naughty'.