Jailhouse Jokesters Gifts

'Hello, Tech Support? - I hit 'escape' and I'm still here.'

"White Collar Prison"

"The lettuce I paid with was fresher than the lettuce I bought."

Prisoner Crossing

"I had money problems- forged fivers the wrong colour!"

'My biggest mistake was to make a 'death-bed confession'... then I made a full recovery!'

'I mistakenly thought that 'mutual' meant the funds were equally mine to use.'

'OVERCROWDED-I'll say it's OVERCROWDED!'

"I'm the first one in my family to do time."

'I can't believe it! -- My own personal computer turned state's evidence!'

'Well, you're not acting like you have every confidence in me.'

"Miss Robins, get me a ladder and a hacksaw, if you will, please."

"The reason I never get any visitors is because all my family and friends are in here!"

'I'm here for jumping my bond... Bail bond.'

'I tried to give a woman the Heimlich maneuver, and it turned out she was doing the Macarena.'

"Sorry I'm late, I had to do jail time."

'I got six months for arson, and ten years for failing to file an environmental impact statement.'

"They weren't very friendly when they proscuted me for obtaining loans under false names."

'The Not so Great Escape.'

Post Office fraud wing in a prison.

'Well, I hope you're a people person -- the prisons are very overcrowded.'

At least you have security!

'I suppose you'd like your porridge shaken, not stirred?'

"Look on the bright side. You no longer live with your parents."

'It's for you.'

Love in prison.

"Five to ten years of bad accordion music...OMG!"

'They got me for 'hate-texting.''

'MY doctor says I don't get out enough!'

Cartoonist draws bomb next to prisoner.

'My first counterfeit dollar.'

'Your mother reckons you look like your baby photos now without your dandruff, dear.'

"The bad news is Lady Sybil has died in childbirth. On the other hand, Bates is back home and Tom's sticking around to help run the estate."