Jailhouse Jokesters Gifts

'Hello, Tech Support? - I hit 'escape' and I'm still here.'

"White Collar Prison"

"The lettuce I paid with was fresher than the lettuce I bought."

Prisoner Crossing

"I had money problems- forged fivers the wrong colour!"

'My biggest mistake was to make a 'death-bed confession'... then I made a full recovery!'

'OVERCROWDED-I'll say it's OVERCROWDED!'

'I mistakenly thought that 'mutual' meant the funds were equally mine to use.'

"I'm the first one in my family to do time."

Yeah, yeah, yeah, framed by the cat - that's what we all say.

'I can't believe it! -- My own personal computer turned state's evidence!'

Inmate on cell phone: 'I'd like to request 'Jailhouse Rock'.'

"Miss Robins, get me a ladder and a hacksaw, if you will, please."

'Well, you're not acting like you have every confidence in me.'

"The reason I never get any visitors is because all my family and friends are in here!"

'Now then, Mr. Grumpypants, if we're to get along we'll have to turn that frown upside down...'

'I tried to give a woman the Heimlich maneuver, and it turned out she was doing the Macarena.'

'I'm here for jumping my bond... Bail bond.'

'The Not so Great Escape.'

"They weren't very friendly when they proscuted me for obtaining loans under false names."

"Sorry I'm late, I had to do jail time."

'I got six months for arson, and ten years for failing to file an environmental impact statement.'

Post Office fraud wing in a prison.

'I suppose you'd like your porridge shaken, not stirred?'

'My first counterfeit dollar.'

"Look on the bright side. You no longer live with your parents."

'It's for you.'

Love in prison.

'Well, I hope you're a people person -- the prisons are very overcrowded.'

'MY doctor says I don't get out enough!'

At least you have security!

"Five to ten years of bad accordion music...OMG!"

'Your mother reckons you look like your baby photos now without your dandruff, dear.'

Cartoonist draws bomb next to prisoner.

"The bad news is Lady Sybil has died in childbirth. On the other hand, Bates is back home and Tom's sticking around to help run the estate."