Jailhouse Humor Lovers Gifts

'Sorry - wrong number.'

'Let's get a kitty.'

Prison Romance.

Prisoner Crossing

"I had money problems- forged fivers the wrong colour!"

"This is why I don't want you doing our taxes anymore."

Yeah, yeah, yeah, framed by the cat - that's what we all say.

'I was on 'AMERICA'S MOST WANTED', captured on 'COPS', tried on 'COURT TV' and sentenced to 10 years of basic cable.'

Inmate on cell phone: 'I'd like to request 'Jailhouse Rock'.'

'Well, you're not acting like you have every confidence in me.'

'I'm here for jumping my bond... Bail bond.'

'Equal protection of the law, my foot! -- That was RANK discrimination against bank robbers!'

Man in arrow suit - 'I'm in for white collar crime.'

'He didn't wash his hands.'

"Sorry I'm late, I had to do jail time."

'The Not so Great Escape.'

"They weren't very friendly when they proscuted me for obtaining loans under false names."

At least you have security!

'True, you've been assigned a nobody lawyer but you're a nobody criminal!'

'It's for you.'

'My first counterfeit dollar.'

"I can't continue to be your lawyer if you won't show up at the hearings."

Cartoonist draws bomb next to prisoner.

'She kept asking me to say what was on my mind so I did. She told her analyst and then the FBI.'

'The SEC got me for inflating the numbers..'

'When I said 'I'm breaking out,' I meant that the food here is messing with my acne.'

''Stole a Smart Car. It picked me out of a lineup.'

'I got life plus three hundred years...I won't be eligible for parole for six months...'

'I've been a burglar, a blackmailer, a mugger, and an armed robber, but by gosh I've never been a LAWYER!'

'Ms. Daly, have there been any important e-mails or voice-mails during my incarceration?'

'If I've told you once, I've told you a thousand times -- Bank robbers don't need business cards!'

"Just came back to pick up my mail."

"Well, then Henshaw, are you going to talk sense or would you like another night of uniterrupted Hindemith?"

"You should never smuggle a phone in without first switching off 'vibrate'."

I think I'll holiday at home this year!'