Jailhouse Humor Fan Gifts

'I got life plus three hundred years...I won't be eligible for parole for six months...'

'That's the saddest alibi I've ever heard!'

"I'm calling you from my cellphone."

Prison Romance.

Prisoner Crossing

'No need to come in.. you can fax me your resume.'

"I had money problems- forged fivers the wrong colour!"

'I was on 'AMERICA'S MOST WANTED', captured on 'COPS', tried on 'COURT TV' and sentenced to 10 years of basic cable.'

Man in arrow suit - 'I'm in for white collar crime.'

'Well, you're not acting like you have every confidence in me.'

'I'm here for jumping my bond... Bail bond.'

'Equal protection of the law, my foot! -- That was RANK discrimination against bank robbers!'

'The Not so Great Escape.'

"They weren't very friendly when they proscuted me for obtaining loans under false names."

"Sorry I'm late, I had to do jail time."

'It's for you.'

'True, you've been assigned a nobody lawyer but you're a nobody criminal!'

'My first counterfeit dollar.'

At least you have security!

'She kept asking me to say what was on my mind so I did. She told her analyst and then the FBI.'

Cartoonist draws bomb next to prisoner.

'When I said 'I'm breaking out,' I meant that the food here is messing with my acne.'

'I've been a burglar, a blackmailer, a mugger, and an armed robber, but by gosh I've never been a LAWYER!'

"Basically, a letter to the editor got out of hand."

'Hey. You're back.'

"Apparently it's OK to clone sheep but not hundred-dollar bills"

"You should never smuggle a phone in without first switching off 'vibrate'."

"They say you're good with forgeries?"

'When I get out, I'm going straight!'

'So, how was your day?'

"See you later. Do you want the door closed?'

'If I've told you once, I've told you a thousand times -- Bank robbers don't need business cards!'