Jailhouse Humor Fan Gifts

'I got life plus three hundred years...I won't be eligible for parole for six months...'

'That's the saddest alibi I've ever heard!'

"I'm calling you from my cellphone."

Prison Romance.

Prisoner Crossing

'No need to come in.. you can fax me your resume.'

"I had money problems- forged fivers the wrong colour!"

Yeah, yeah, yeah, framed by the cat - that's what we all say.

"This is why I don't want you doing our taxes anymore."

'I'm here for jumping my bond... Bail bond.'

Man in arrow suit - 'I'm in for white collar crime.'

'I was on 'AMERICA'S MOST WANTED', captured on 'COPS', tried on 'COURT TV' and sentenced to 10 years of basic cable.'

'Well, you're not acting like you have every confidence in me.'

'Equal protection of the law, my foot! -- That was RANK discrimination against bank robbers!'

'The Not so Great Escape.'

"They weren't very friendly when they proscuted me for obtaining loans under false names."

"Sorry I'm late, I had to do jail time."

Cartoonist draws bomb next to prisoner.

'She kept asking me to say what was on my mind so I did. She told her analyst and then the FBI.'

'My first counterfeit dollar.'

'True, you've been assigned a nobody lawyer but you're a nobody criminal!'

At least you have security!

'It's for you.'

'When I said 'I'm breaking out,' I meant that the food here is messing with my acne.'

''Stole a Smart Car. It picked me out of a lineup.'

'I've been a burglar, a blackmailer, a mugger, and an armed robber, but by gosh I've never been a LAWYER!'

"Basically, a letter to the editor got out of hand."

'Hey. You're back.'

"Well, then Henshaw, are you going to talk sense or would you like another night of uniterrupted Hindemith?"

"Apparently it's OK to clone sheep but not hundred-dollar bills"

'If I've told you once, I've told you a thousand times -- Bank robbers don't need business cards!'

"He told me it was for a hot tub."

"See you later. Do you want the door closed?'

"Just came back to pick up my mail."

"I found your contact lens."