Jailhouse Humor Lover Gifts

'Me? I've been here about 37 months.'

Prison Romance.

Prisoner Crossing

"I had money problems- forged fivers the wrong colour!"

Yeah, yeah, yeah, framed by the cat - that's what we all say.

'Equal protection of the law, my foot! -- That was RANK discrimination against bank robbers!'

'Well, you're not acting like you have every confidence in me.'

'I was on 'AMERICA'S MOST WANTED', captured on 'COPS', tried on 'COURT TV' and sentenced to 10 years of basic cable.'

Man in arrow suit - 'I'm in for white collar crime.'

Inmate on cell phone: 'I'd like to request 'Jailhouse Rock'.'

'I'm here for jumping my bond... Bail bond.'

'He didn't wash his hands.'

'The Not so Great Escape.'

"They weren't very friendly when they proscuted me for obtaining loans under false names."

"Sorry I'm late, I had to do jail time."

'It's for you.'

At least you have security!

'My first counterfeit dollar.'

Cartoonist draws bomb next to prisoner.

'She kept asking me to say what was on my mind so I did. She told her analyst and then the FBI.'

"I can't continue to be your lawyer if you won't show up at the hearings."

'True, you've been assigned a nobody lawyer but you're a nobody criminal!'

'When I said 'I'm breaking out,' I meant that the food here is messing with my acne.'

'I got life plus three hundred years...I won't be eligible for parole for six months...'

''Stole a Smart Car. It picked me out of a lineup.'

'I've been a burglar, a blackmailer, a mugger, and an armed robber, but by gosh I've never been a LAWYER!'

'Ms. Daly, have there been any important e-mails or voice-mails during my incarceration?'

'Never take the stand in your own defense. The judge can reach you with the gavel.'

'When I get out, I'm going straight!'

"I've got him! I've got him!...Now what?"

'If I've told you once, I've told you a thousand times -- Bank robbers don't need business cards!'

"You should never smuggle a phone in without first switching off 'vibrate'."

"Apparently it's OK to clone sheep but not hundred-dollar bills"

I think I'll holiday at home this year!'

"He told me it was for a hot tub."