Jailhouse Humor Lover Gifts

'Me? I've been here about 37 months.'

Prison Romance.

Prisoner Crossing

"I had money problems- forged fivers the wrong colour!"

'I was on 'AMERICA'S MOST WANTED', captured on 'COPS', tried on 'COURT TV' and sentenced to 10 years of basic cable.'

'Equal protection of the law, my foot! -- That was RANK discrimination against bank robbers!'

'Well, you're not acting like you have every confidence in me.'

'I'm here for jumping my bond... Bail bond.'

Man in arrow suit - 'I'm in for white collar crime.'

'He didn't wash his hands.'

"They weren't very friendly when they proscuted me for obtaining loans under false names."

"Sorry I'm late, I had to do jail time."

'The Not so Great Escape.'

'It's for you.'

'My first counterfeit dollar.'

At least you have security!

'True, you've been assigned a nobody lawyer but you're a nobody criminal!'

Cartoonist draws bomb next to prisoner.

'She kept asking me to say what was on my mind so I did. She told her analyst and then the FBI.'

'When I said 'I'm breaking out,' I meant that the food here is messing with my acne.'

'I got life plus three hundred years...I won't be eligible for parole for six months...'

'I've been a burglar, a blackmailer, a mugger, and an armed robber, but by gosh I've never been a LAWYER!'

'Ms. Daly, have there been any important e-mails or voice-mails during my incarceration?'

I think I'll holiday at home this year!'

"You should never smuggle a phone in without first switching off 'vibrate'."

"Apparently it's OK to clone sheep but not hundred-dollar bills"

'If I've told you once, I've told you a thousand times -- Bank robbers don't need business cards!'

'Never take the stand in your own defense. The judge can reach you with the gavel.'

"I've got him! I've got him!...Now what?"

'They robbed the bank, I was just the pilot-fish...'