Jury Jester Gifts

'I win some, I lose some. But I always try and send the jury home in a good mood.'

'Relax, baby, and pay no attention to that old man behind you.'

I'm leaving my fate in the hands of 12 people too dumb to get out of jury duty.

'We find the defendant G-U-I-L-T-Y.'

"You recused yourself from this case. I recuse myself from jury duty."

'Do you think, perhaps, that we could start shooting for a few longer-term goals around here?'

'Look -- I'm willing to forget about all this if you are.'

'I request an postponement, Your Honor -- I have to study for my bar exams.'

"Hire a cost cutting, bad-guy consultant to turn me into a good guy during the layoffs."

'Pass it to Dewey! He's got himself into some kind of rhythm!!'

"For the sake of not being redundant, your honor, I feel that one 'bad dog' is sufficient."

'How about a game of cards?'

'It wasn't long before Larry realized his calling as a lawyer whisperer...'

"Judgement Day: Division Four"

"He's actually my co-counsel, but you may scratch his head."

'What he said about judgement day is scary. Maybe we should find a good lawyer.'

"I just know he's gonna ask me why I voted for Trump."

"So what's this special distracting tactic you've developed?"

"Unless one is a humorist, Haskins. One should avoid attempts at humor."

'Wait!... I don't want to take Brady out right now. He's just getting into rhythm.'

"Not guilty but prepared to settle out of court, your honour."

'Your Honor, my client would like to wave his right to a speedy trial.'

'WELL, that certainly was a frank discussion! Shall we proceed to the inevitable apologies, retractions and clarifications?'

'Your Honor, in order to avoid being sued, we find the defendant 'Not guilty.''

"Objection, your honor, my client's feelings are being hurt."

'Can I sue someone because I didn't win my lawsuit?'

"#notguilty."

'This court finds you guilty Mr. Jones. As your punishment, the bailiff here will slug you one.'

Yawning barristers in court

A baby in court

"I say we move on to dessert."

'I couldn't help noticing that nobody swore YOU in!'

"Dave here, is a lawyer. But don't be too impressed, he only specialises in petty crime."

Justice 4 Ron

Basketball.