Jury Jokester Gifts

'It wasn't easy, but I got you a jury of your peers — six hairdressers, five interior decorators, and a professor of 18th Century poetry.'

Arrogant junior barrister

"Your honor, I intend to put the system on trial."

"Ladies and Gentlemen of the jury, my client blah blah...."

Justice

'...In an attempt to speed up our backlog of cases we've computerized the scales of justice.'

"And here's good news for the defense. I am disqualifying myself on the grounds of blatant prejudice."

'Is your verdict unanimous?'

'Lift off, we have lift off...'

'But sinister gales - with that armour?'

"Simple yes or no. Are the cartoons funny?"

McWit Legal College

'Are you sure you saw my client do it? Let me remind you, it takes one to know one.'

Mel Hoffman - Attorney TO the stars.

"No, go ahead. I enjoy good gossipy hearsay."

"I wouldn't want to be in your shoes."

'I warned you counselor, no more tricks.'

'Branding is essential if you're to survive in the Jungle of modern law...'

"Guilty times infinity."

Bartender: 'Rough day, huh?'Man: 'I'll say. My ex-wife just sued the pants off me.'

'There's no catch, Mr. Jones. We offer 100% bonefide, free, crummy legal advice.'

Shirts vs Skins: 'I don't know about this.'

'I told you it wouldn't work. You just can't predict what a jury is going to do.'

"It's nice to see the police toughening up on juvenile crime."

"You want the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth?" (Colour)

'Yes, I can defend you, but we may have a tough time selecting a jury of your peers.'

Dreary counsel sending the judge and jury to sleep

"I don't like the looks of this! That's our jury consultant!"

Are you guilty or not guilty? What happens if I plead guilty?

Shoplifter behind a barcode.