Jury Jester Pillows

'I win some, I lose some. But I always try and send the jury home in a good mood.'

'Relax, baby, and pay no attention to that old man behind you.'

I'm leaving my fate in the hands of 12 people too dumb to get out of jury duty.

'We find the defendant G-U-I-L-T-Y.'

"You recused yourself from this case. I recuse myself from jury duty."

'Do you think, perhaps, that we could start shooting for a few longer-term goals around here?'

'Whe they said 'God is my Judge', I didn't realize He was a real attorney.'

'I request an postponement, Your Honor -- I have to study for my bar exams.'

'Look -- I'm willing to forget about all this if you are.'

'It wasn't long before Larry realized his calling as a lawyer whisperer...'

'Pass it to Dewey! He's got himself into some kind of rhythm!!'

"For the sake of not being redundant, your honor, I feel that one 'bad dog' is sufficient."

"Judgement Day: Division Four"

"Hire a cost cutting, bad-guy consultant to turn me into a good guy during the layoffs."

'How about a game of cards?'

"He's actually my co-counsel, but you may scratch his head."

'What he said about judgement day is scary. Maybe we should find a good lawyer.'

'Wait!... I don't want to take Brady out right now. He's just getting into rhythm.'

"Not guilty but prepared to settle out of court, your honour."

"I just know he's gonna ask me why I voted for Trump."

"Unless one is a humorist, Haskins. One should avoid attempts at humor."

Supreme Court. It's either constitutional or unconstitutional - We don't use a scale of one to ten!

"So what's this special distracting tactic you've developed?"

'Your Honor, my client would like to wave his right to a speedy trial.'

'WELL, that certainly was a frank discussion! Shall we proceed to the inevitable apologies, retractions and clarifications?'

'This court finds you guilty Mr. Jones. As your punishment, the bailiff here will slug you one.'

"Objection, your honor, my client's feelings are being hurt."

'Can I sue someone because I didn't win my lawsuit?'

"#notguilty."

'Your Honor, in order to avoid being sued, we find the defendant 'Not guilty.''

Yawning barristers in court

"I say we move on to dessert."

A baby in court

"Before the defense rests, my client would like to read you a little sonnet he composed about his love for the jury."

Basketball.